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Are You Using the Wrong Guitar Pick? Read This Article and Enjoy Pretending That’s the Problem for a Little While

For many guitar players, finding the perfect sound can feel more like a journey than a destination. You work hard saving up money to buy the right guitar, the right gear, the perfect pedal board, whatever it takes to make the sounds in your mind real, but it never seems quite right. Well, what if we told you that the only gear you need to perfect your sound is a different guitar pick?

Boy, would that be fucking something or what? Gosh, that is fun to think about! Go on, just think about it for a second. Isn’t that nice? Hey, read slower. Savor this time.

Okay, so here’s the good part. Are you ready? According to experts experts, mind you a heavier guitar pick WILL generate a darker sound than a light pick! Okay, that’s something! Isn’t that interesting? Doesn’t it just make you want to not question what “darker sound” even means and daydream that you are actually very good at the guitar?

But wait, there’s more! Some guitar picks are more appropriate than others for certain playing styles! That’s TWO THINGS! In fact, some people naturally play in such a way that they are better off not using a pick at all. Oh, the mind reels! Wait, where are you going? You’re not going to pick up your guitar, are you? No no, stay here.

Stay here.

The second you take your eyes off of this article, it’s over. You are no longer living in “Could that be the problem?” Once you get up from this, you will start the process of buying a new pick, playing your guitar, and let’s face it, probably being disappointed. Why start all of that when you can stay here, a magical realm of possibility where all that stands between you and rock-stardom is a tiny piece of plastic?

What if your bass player was wrong when he called your songs “paint by numbers and feeling-less”? Maybe they’ve all been wrong. Maybe you’re a genius! Jesus, wouldn’t that be something?


Maybe changing your guitar pick will unlock everything. Maybe the first chord you strum will echo across the world, and all who doubted you before will gather round, dumbfounded, and bow before you as they would a squire pulling Excalibur from the stone.


This is a win-win situation. The longer you stay on our website, the better it is for us, and you like being here! You are Schrödinger’s guitar god right now. Isn’t that better than being like a cashier or whatever?

Look, you’ve been down this road before. Remember when you were reading that article about how maybe you swear too much because you’re a genius? Remember how good that felt? Then you stopped reading it, and reality set in. Why would you fucking do that to yourself again? Why leave paradise?

Look, why don’t you do us both a favor, scroll back up to the top, and read this article again. Slower this time. Much. Slower.