DENVER — Local cryptocurrency trader, Evan Silver, pushed the limits of the definition of ‘friend’ when discussing a current relationship in which he was “put…
They say that you should be kind to all people because everyone is fighting an invisible war that you know nothing about, but what about…
PHOENIX — Aging members of local metal band Toxins in the Bloodstream are deep in a spiraling debate about whether they should go all-in with…
The world is changing too rapidly. Between advances in culture and technology, some of us can’t keep up and many people are simply refusing to…
SPOKANE, Wash. — Local kinksters Justin Lentz and Carly Melhado added a new wrinkle to their sexual routine early yesterday evening by pretending to actually…
I am constantly thinking about what sort of outlandishness the liberals will force upon us next. What else will their Godless minds twist and contort…
LANCASTER, N.H. — A local historian of punk rock recently unearthed incontrovertible evidence that GG Allin’s full name was actually Gilmore Girls Allin, sources who…
BOSTON — Recent Northeastern University alumni James Gillen is aggressively spreading awareness of the atrocities committed by Christopher Columbus to his friends, confirmed sources who…
PIGEON FORGE, Tenn. — Local mother Julia Smith assumes that her completely asexual daughter Andrea is actually a lesbian who has yet to find the…
Science nerds will tell you that climate change is an existential threat to our world, but more importantly, to our corporations. That being the case,…
BOSTON — A new documentary about the city’s notoriously tough hardcore scene is mostly 90 minutes of incriminating evidence, multiple law enforcement officers confirm. “I…
EUREKA, Calif. — A squirrel rapidly burying nuts in the ground in preparation for the winter is now better prepared for retirement than one local…
LOS ANGELES — Stardust Diner, the latest 1950s style diner to open in Burbank, reportedly glosses over some key facts and historical realities, sources who…
Damn it, dude! They’ve gotta be here somewhere, but I can’t find ‘em! Have you seen my… uh… you know… uh… Ideas? YEAH! Ideas! I…
FALL RIVER, Mass. — A centuries-old apparition roaming the innards of an 1800’s New England heritage property “must be someone else’s friend,” reports every one…