AUSTIN, Texas — Outdoor enthusiasts gathered today to celebrate the opening of a brand new multi-use outdoor space by watching a shitty-looking white guy perform…
Having hobbies and interests is an important part of blending into society, but finding out what your passion is, as rewarding as I’m sure that…
APPLETON, Wis. — Teenage prodigy Shari Ford is being hailed as the next great bassist after mastering the electric bass guitar 16 minutes into her…
OAKLAND, Calif. — Local man Jeff Beeswick reportedly can’t decide whether to pronounce foreign words like some sort of pompous asshole or an uncultured idiot…
KINGSTON, Jamaica — Reggae singer and exonerated philanderer Shaggy released a tell-all book recently titled “If It Was Me, Here’s How It Happened,” in response…
Hey songwriters! You wanna improve your chops? You wanna write a song that connects with the audience on an emotional level while staying stuck in…
AUSTIN, Texas — A metronome at Austin’s Northside Music Academy doesn’t know what more it can do to show the idiot using it, Kyle Tulridge,…
We all know life is full of little annoyances that only exist to make things a little more difficult. Not that it matters anyway –…
IOWA CITY, Iowa — Promoters at a recent local show agreed that they would bump the door fee up three dollars for any individual who…
As far as decades go, this one sucks pretty hard. A deadly pandemic has killed millions worldwide. A bunch of psychos LARPed overthrowing the government.…
LOS ANGELES — Highly distinguished drummer and body art curator Travis Barker recently admitted that he spends a good few hours every morning painstakingly reapplying…
LONDON — Virtuoso violinist Hans Kriegsman came to the difficult realization that he plays in a glorified cover band while performing Bach’s “Jesu, Joy of…
SACRAMENTO, Calif. — A freegan crust punk was left horrified and repulsed after discovering where the food in the dumpster behind his local Burger King…
You can find the essence of a generation in its music. That’s why observing generational progress as a millennial woman is bittersweet. So many songs…
PURCHASE, N.Y. — Local woman Elle Rice winced this morning while waiting for her black coffee refill as the song “Fade Into You” by Mazzy…