UNITED STATES — Local white guy Trent Langlois was ready to jump right into celebrating the music video for Childish Gambino’s “This is America” for…
Prom season is here and you know what that means: A-list pop stars like Taylor Swift, Katy Perry, and Rihanna will momentarily cast their life-affirming…
WESTLAKE VILLAGE, Calif. — Guitar Center executives are planning a benefit concert to deter the chain’s impending bankruptcy, featuring 97 dudes playing the opening guitar…
SAN JOSE, Calif. — Local drummer Murphy Hartly models his intense drum sound and out-of-control drinking problem after his idol, the deceased Led Zeppelin drummer…
LITTLE ROCK, Ark. — Local man Edward Berg brought his own microphone for last week’s noncompetitive “Tuesday Karaoke Night” at the Old Frog, setting off…
HAMMOND, Ind. — Noise musician Elaine McCulloch’s recent unemployment following her ungraceful exit from a line cook position at a local charcuterie pub is the…
In light of the Toronto van attack more and more people are asking the question “What is an incel?” Simply put an incel is someone…
LANCASTER, Pa. — 25-year-old punk Ricky Lewis called a press conference on Friday to admit that he had lost his grasp on popular music well…
NEW YORK — Subway conductor Manny Tannenbaum’s formal request to “really pump up the overdrive” of his train’s PA system was approved early this morning…
NASHVILLE — Following their long-awaited decision to file for Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection, Gibson Brands, Inc. has made clear its intentions to “maybe sell a…
OAKLAND, Calif. — Dennis Henderson has continually hit “next” in Spotify’s shuffle mode for the last two hours, and has vowed not to stop until…
ASBURY PARK, N.J. — Veteran punk band The Bouncing Souls announced they will embark on a massive 300-date tour later this year, consisting entirely of…
LOS ANGELES — Flaming Lips lead singer Wayne Coyne has severely weakened his immune system due to too much time spent inside his iconic plastic…
NEW YORK — Rapper and producer J. Cole was honored by the Pulitzer Prize Board early this afternoon with a shittier, blander version of the…
GRAND RAPIDS, Mich. — The guitarist and songwriter of a popular metal band was accused yesterday of using excessive umlauts in his tacit admission to…