PLANO, Texas — Aging punk Jordie Farmer reportedly shaved down the sides of his back last night, creating a full torso extension of the mohawk…
ATHENS, Ga. — Local man Jackson Green was busted early yesterday morning reading Sum 41’s Wikipedia page when his roommate walked in on him exploring…
Gun violence in America is an epidemic and a solution is needed. Gun control advocates recommend banning assault weapons such as AR-15s but let’s be…
CHICAGO — A pair of tickets to Riot Fest purchased several months ago is reportedly the only thing keeping local couple Chloe Jackson and Reese…
TOKYO, Japan — In a press release this morning, Sony announced that a new edition of PaRappa the Rapper geared towards modern audiences, PaRappa the…
PHOENIX — The lead guitar tech at Kerry King Guitar Clinic attempted an experimental procedure last night to separate local musician Kurt Carstens’ conjoined guitars,…
LOS ANGELES — NOFX frontman “Fat” Mike Burkett held a press conference yesterday to apologize for a series of insensitive comments he wished he could…
Well it happened again. You’re irrationally angry and contemplating murder. Everyone feels the urge to kill at least once or twice a weekend, right? Unless…
TUKWILA, Wash. — Tukwila musicians of all genres are mourning today after the town’s only competent drummer, Jeffrey Joyce, announced last night his intention to…
TUCSON, Ariz. — A local show’s merch line was held up last night for more than 11 minutes when aging punk rocker John “The Don”…
LOS ANGELES — Local goth Jenny Carlisle successfully subverted cosmetic trends earlier this week by having her asshole professionally darkened at a nearby salon, unenthused…
NEW YORK — The 42nd Street/Times Square subway station was tight on space early yesterday evening after Rush drummer Neil Peart set up over 20…
CLEVELAND — Showgoer Timothy Boyce has become trapped in a mosh pit after his panicked flailing and aggressive shouting were mistaken as genuine moshing, witnesses…
We’ve all been there before: you just saw an up-and-coming band have a rough set and you want to support them without seeming fake. Many…
International Essay Prize Awarded to YouTube Comment Explaining Why Deafheaven Isn’t Black Metal
MONTREAL — The internationally-recognized Rodgers-Mayhew Essay Award was given yesterday to SoundMatters99, a Youtube commenter who succinctly dissected the genre minutia of popular indie-metal band…