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Grown Man Keeping Guitar Pick in His Wallet “Just in Case”

SAN ANTONIO — Aspiring musician Josh Sánchez’s trusty Jim Dunlop guitar pick is reportedly securely lodged in an auxiliary compartment of his wallet “just in case” he may get a chance to use it, sources close to Sánchez confirm.

“He’s had that pick in his wallet and a dream in his heart for as long as I’ve known him,” long-time friend Keith Lawley said. “He almost sealed the deal at a house party we were at about a month ago — there was this guitar with an amazing Dreadnought body, propped up in the living room. But just as Josh was making his way over, some douche swooped in on it and started playing ‘Wonderwall.’ It’s always those guys that end up getting lucky like that.”

Sánchez has been prevented from retrieving the pick from his wallet before, as ex-girlfriend Leah-Marie Marsh confirmed.

“Things were warming up between us, and I thought I’d let him play with my band,” Marsh explained. “But he was just really bad at fingerstyle, so I didn’t let him go any further with me. I felt bad about it and asked if maybe he wanted to play bass instead… but he stormed off.”

“Honestly, I’m not sure who he’s trying to convince with that 1.5 millimeter Tortex pick anyway,” she added. “A .75 nylon is way more appropriate for his style.”

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However, Sánchez remains optimistic about his chances of playing with his pick soon.

“I’ve had my eye on this gorgeous model at Guitar Center for weeks, and I really think I’ve got a chance with it if they don’t reject my credit application again,” Sánchez said. “Man, it’s been so long — it’s gonna be so sweet to finally put this bad boy to use. I hope the heat from being in my wallet all this time didn’t fuck it up or anything. Wait, these things don’t expire, right?”

At press time, Sánchez was reportedly humiliated after the pick fell out of his wallet as he was reaching for his ID, landing right in front of the guitar he desired.

Photo by Matthew Keplinger.

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