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DIY: How to Build Your Own Guitar for Twice the Price of a Store Bought Guitar

Really? You want to be that guy with the homemade guitar? Ok, well I’m not going to tell you how to live your life. Here’s how to build your own guitar for twice the price of a store bought guitar:

First you’re going to need a bunch of tools you don’t own yet. That’s gonna cost you more than a new Gibson but you can convince yourself that woodworking is a useful hobby and that you will use that table-saw and drill press all the time. You could also bring the lumber to your dad’s garage but then you’ll have to put up with that old bastard talking down to you and treating you like a child the whole time. Whatever you wanna do though, this was all your idea.

Next you want to shape the body. You got your strat, your dreadnaught, your mockingbird… oh, who am I kidding, you’re going to make a flying V, you predictable poser. The shape is as impractical as this whole idea but, hey, do your thing.

After you cut out your body and neck you are going to sand. Keep sanding. Even more. Even more sanding. You aren’t done sanding yet! Keep sanding until your lungs are clogged with sawdust because it isn’t ‘punk’ to wear proper safety gear. I didn’t say stop sanding!

Related: The Hard Style Guide to Perfecting A DIY Look For $1500 Or Less ($2000, Tops)

 

You think you are almost done?! Not even close, junior. You still have to etch the fretboards, make the rod cover, and do a million coats of stain, top coat, and shielding. More than likely you are going to give up at this point, just like you do with everything else. Remember when you were going to get really into ice sculpting? Well, where is that chain saw now, buddy?

Oh, you’re still with me? Trying to prove something, are you? Well it’s time to install the electronics and here is a wiring schematic that I am sure you will understand, no problem. Wait, where are you going? Maybe you should go get that chainsaw and end this guitar-abomination’s pitiful existence.

Congratulations, you just spent thousands of dollars making a guitar that looks like shit and sounds even worse. Come on, I’ll give you a ride to guitar center.

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