NEW ORLEANS — Local guitarist Ryan Alarid is struggling to pick between two nearly identical, virtually indistinguishable photos of himself on stage for his Tinder…
HATTIESBURG, Miss. — Local poser Justin Lindsey listed several brands of protein bars last night after multiple members of the hardcore scene asked him to…
ITHACA, N.Y. — Audience members at last night’s show headlined by indie rock quintet Hammock and Tree all agreed that the band’s “impromptu” dialogue between…
No regrets they say. Live like it’s your last day. Yeah, well, I used to be that way- so carefree and full of whimsy. That…
PHILADELPHIA — Guitar Center employee Henry Stiltz dragged another day’s worth of unsold gear to the dumpster at the end of his shift Tuesday, according…
INDIANAPOLIS — Oskar Wesley, the 15-year-old frontman of the winner of the 2019 Indianapolis Public School System Battle of the Bands, announced in an interview…
SYDNEY — Acclaimed film composer Hans Zimmer shocked audience members at the Sydney Opera House last night when he appeared onstage at the venue’s historic…
Listen up, snowflakes! As some of you know, my douchebag SJW singer Simon threatened to bring a new guitarist into our band The Keychain Stranglers…
KNOXVILLE, Tenn. — Mid-level pop-punk band Cabbagepatchkids will never know how close they were to making it big, thanks to the total neglect of their…
TEMPE, Ariz. — Local man Connor Heath still regrets breaking up with his college girlfriend 20 years on, admitting today that he never got over…
IRVINE,Calif. — Local punk Jenny Stoever is hoping against all hope that her father Ted Stoever’s ardent support of President Trump is just a passing…
WILMINGTON, Del. — Members of the band Temporary Joy were unaware that their perfectly soundproof practice space is also slowly killing them due to the…
DALLAS — Hardworking custodian Chuck O’Gallagher was interrupted while finishing his shift late last night by members of local punk band Wet Socks, who came…
WHITE PLAINS, N.Y. — Local woman Eloise Mandeel called Guitar Center this morning in hopes that an employee would tell her the whereabouts of her…
MEDFORD, N.Y. — Mathcore band A Murder Among Friends observed the biannual Daylight Saving Time rule today by reluctantly setting the time signatures back on…