MILWAUKEE — 32-year-old punk Omar Neihoff made a New Year’s resolution last night to attend at least one show before the end of this calendar…
As Americans, we hold the constitution sacred. However, America has changed so much since the constitution was written. Technological advancements and changing societal standards have…
OMAHA, Neb. — Newly hired sound guy David Murphy was “not about to take fucking notes from some bullshit guitarist” last Friday night when sound-checking…
DAYTON, Ohio — The drummer of local punk band Vulture Attack took a “confusingly inappropriate” amount of time last night to set up his minimalist…
SAN ANTONIO — Local concertgoer Tim Flinanski is two tandem stage dives away from certification for solo dives in accordance with recently enacted safety precautions,…
WASHINGTON — Scientists researching the life expectancy of punks now claim that the first punk to live a full 65 years has likely already been…
BETHLEHEM — A local show billed as “The Most Important Event in Human History” reportedly ended as a “total fucking bust,” thanks to a confusing…
ROCKFORD, Ill. — Chicago punk Robbie Kaplan called attendees of last weekend’s Levin-Brady wedding ‘whiny posers’ and ‘crybabies’ as he was forcibly removed for repeated…
ONEONTA, N.Y. — Patrons at punk venue The Station report that the only functioning fixture in the entire bathroom is local coke dealer Reese Wicker,…
RICHMOND, Va. — Members of local hardcore band Without Dignity are doggedly working out the logistics of their first tour, consisting of two shows in…
HUNTINGTON BEACH, Calif. — A chain wallet used in a post-show assault in 2011 is allegedly having “the time of its life” awaiting trial as…
LOS ANGELES — A fully naked Morrissey surprised fans this morning by cancelling an impromptu shower singing session due to inclement water temperature in a…
TORRANCE, Calif. — Longtime punk and father Al Diaz thoroughly interrogated his teenage daughter’s new boyfriend last night about which five Black Flag songs are…