I live a simple life. I own a small emporium where I sell lithographs to the good folk of this here small seaside town. Even…
ADDISON, Texas — Addison Fellowship Community Church parishioners are lamenting allowing local metal band Cryptic Martyr to use their sanctuary for the band’s new music…
LOS ANGELES — Former Misfits vocalist Michale Graves has successfully unseated Glenn Danzig as the band’s most ridiculous vocalist following a recent announcement that he…
CLEVELAND — Recently formed metal band Blood & Soil has forgone music as its first public release, instead issuing formal remarks apologizing for every band…
ABINGDON, Oxfordshire, U.K. — Experimental rock band Radiohead revealed today that their seminal album “Kid A” actually stands for “Kid Antebellum,” deciding for some reason…
PROVO, Utah — Devout Christian and former Underøath superfan Liam Beckstead spent the majority of his afternoon yesterday Tweeting death threats at the band while…
NASHVILLE, Tenn. — The embattled country group formerly known as Lady Antebellum, and more recently Lady A, has finally settled on a new name and…
PHILADELPHIA — Local punk band Bait and Snitch admitted today that they are really now more of a punk Dungeons and Dragons group now after…
SALT LAKE CITY — Barista and local punk Miranda Byers is celebrating her additional shift at Baxter’s Garden today with a splurge purchase of the…
Holy shit am I the next Kirk Hammett? No, I can’t shred on the guitar and my hair is less “rock God” and more “birds…
LOS ANGELES — Three members of local punk quartet The Herniated Dicks defied Los Angeles’ stringent coronavirus quarantine guidelines to meet up and rag on…
A couple of weeks back our office was shaken when a strange mass of blue energy suddenly appeared and exploded next to our most recently…
LEWISBURG, W.V. — The favorite shirt that you wore frequently the year you were 29-years-old magically transformed to a piece of clothing only large enough…
DENTON, Texas — Children’s literature icon Waldo was found yesterday within a local black metal band logo after nearly 30 minutes of attempting to understand…
WASHINGTON — Trapt frontman Chris Taylor Brown issued an enthusiastic “start and persist” letter yesterday urging President Donald Trump to play the band’s lone hit…