This fucking guy. Our so called “president” (aka “45” because I refuse to even say Donald Trump’s name) is a complete fucking idiot that we…
BROOKLYN, N.Y. — Senior VICE editor Archie Jenkins sprinted from his office in Williamsburg yesterday after remembering he coerced a freelance reporter into infiltrating a…
If there is one thing that journalists (and marijuana-sex content creators) need to shout right now, it is that we need to be paid for…
Hate comes from ignorance. It’s a manifestation of fear of the unknown. As an ivy league educated, well-traveled individual, I have experienced people of many…
SCOTTSDALE, Ariz. — Local dad Carl Coleman threw caution to the wind last night and mimicked an electric guitar solo with his pool cue during…
SAN FRANCISCO — Local man Geoff Kaplan was overly critical and harsh this afternoon while discussing astrology stereotypes with friends, sources close to the obvious…
NEW ORLEANS — Local punk Sarah Moreno was seen scouring the crowd at a show last night for her blind date, a “white guy in…
Who the fuck does this band ‘Propagandhi’ think they are? I just listened to their latest piece of anti-American garbage, Today’s Empires, Tomorrow’s Ashes, and…
SPOKANE, Wash. — Members of the Spokane DIY punk scene are reluctantly preparing to help local women who will lose access to vital healthcare services,…
Dear Scabby: I currently have crushes on two coworkers. What should I do? -PROFESSIONALLY TORN IN PITTSBURGH Dear Professionally Torn in Pittsburgh: First off, I’d…
PHOENIX — An “A.C.A.B.” knuckle tattoo reminded recovering amnesiac Marcus Spence last night exactly how he feels about law enforcement officials, following an encounter with…
DENVER — Local man Myron Brewer’s usual self-deprecating remarks are increasingly becoming uncomfortably accurate, visibly uneasy friends report. “He’s always been pretty down on himself,…
CLEVELAND, Miss. — Local hardcore guy and “fucking wild man” Rodney O’Dell is reportedly having the best night of his life, watching one of his…
NEW YORK — Local pop punk band Orange 17 has expressed interest in the fate of the infamous mail bomber’s van following his arrest, sources…
BERLIN — American singer/songwriter Perry Clements checked multiple outlets in Germany yesterday to see how many Euros he could receive in exchange for $0 during…