BROOKLYN, N.Y. — Local pop punk band Red Nose, which features nine musicians who all dress as clowns with intricate circus-based backstories, were reportedly dismayed to learn that their one chance at stardom — getting booked as the musical guest on The Chris Gethard Show — was eliminated with the announcement of the show’s cancellation.
“I absolutely love the work we have been doing with Red Nose, but this was our one fucking shot and now it’s too late,” lead singer Dokie the Clown told reporters. “Without The [Chris] Gethard Show, where are bands like Red Nose, Toys and Tiny Instruments, and Handjob Academy supposed to get our big breaks? Jimmy Fallon?!”
“But hey, we put out fifteen terrific power pop albums in the last twenty-six years,” he added. “That’s something to really be proud of.”
According to the show’s host, Chris Gethard, Red Nose was the one band he was set on booking for the show’s third season on TruTV.
“Aw man, I’m so bummed we couldn’t get Red Nose on. Legit one of the best punk bands working today; they really cut their teeth right here in New York,” Chris Gethard wrote in his fandom’s Facebook group. “One time I went to a show they put on at Death by Audio where one of the tuba players pulled a series of ribbons out of an audience member’s throat. It was by and large one of the craziest experiences of my life. That wasn’t even the weirdest thing that happened at the show, but the entire audience is sworn to secrecy about the rest of the night.”
“Their drummer Dumpling is this guy I know from my time at Rutgers and he is one of the best people I have ever met,” Gethard continued. “The band started in the ‘90s, but this guy Dumpling has been in full clown make-up every single day since 1972. He didn’t even start the band, he joined in ‘04.”
At press time, the nine members of Red Nose began working on a plan to get invited to play on next year’s Warped Tour.