HOLLYWOOD, Calif. — Every member of seminal hair metal band Mötley Crüe have, several times a year, thought back to an anonymous woman who exposed…
RACINE, Wis. — Local accountant and not-much-else Gary Wilkerson is alive despite astronomical odds to the contrary, according to sources who’ve already forgotten his name.…
WASHINGTON — Right-wing pundit Tucker Carlson drew immense criticism yet again this week over comments he made defending Stage IV colon cancer after it took…
WATERLOO, Iowa — A local couple’s relationship elevated to the next level yesterday after boyfriend Logan Carpenter featured a photo of his girlfriend Naima Alford…
GOTHAM CITY — Billionaire Bruce Wayne, who recently revealed himself to be the masked vigilante known as Batman, has stepped away from his crusade for…
IRVINE, Calif. — Local dad and man who frequently wears his sunglasses on the back of his head Jared Stein spent the majority of a…
SAN FRANCISCO — Music aficionado and frontman for alternative metal band Faith No More, Mike Patton, admitted today that he just doesn’t understand why so…
When I was an impressionable youth, I was corrupted by cigarettes. At the tender age of 16, smoking ads were everywhere, displaying cool people wearing…
TOLEDO, Ohio — Local man Joseph Whitt described moments ago his relationship with hardcore tankie and politically communist girlfriend Stephanie Arlin as being “totally workable…
LOS ANGELES — Local record store Forever Records is offering a new home delivery service, in which a crate of personally selected vinyl is sent…
WASHINGTON — RNC Chair Ronna McDaniel announced today that the fourth night of the Republican National Convention will feature wall-to-wall advertising from their new exclusive…
HACKENSACK, N.J. — A new report from the Brookings Institute has found that nationwide gym closures due to the coronavirus have left the nation’s weird,…
FLAGSTAFF, Ariz. — Callahan’s Casket Emporium will offer a “Back to School Blowout Sale” this year, offering discounts of up to 50% on last year’s…
LOS ANGELES — Legendary metal band Goop has reunited after seven years apart to release a boring, flavorless craft beer dubbed “Goop Soup,” disappointed fans…
SIOUX CITY, Iowa. — Local man Derrick Carney was mercilessly beaten within an inch of his life last night not long after learning that police…