LOS ANGELES — Local showgoer Hannah Bishop left Tower Bar’s only bathroom late last night in a state many witnesses described as “irreparably fouled,” grossed-out…
CARLSBAD, N.M. — Avid Tinder user Myles Soto enjoyed playing Devil’s advocate last night while his date begged him to empathize with her most painful…
WASHINGTON — Departing employee Bridget Hogan’s profanity laced email instructing her former bosses to go fuck themselves was downgraded to a polite thanking of her…
EDEN — God, the almighty, omnipresent being responsible for the creation of life itself, finally confirmed that he removed Adam’s rib primarily so Adam could…
WHEATON, Ill. — The intimate detail given by Pastor Ryan Landry at the wedding of Lauren Frey and Michael Dent led wedding attendees to conclude…
LAS VEGAS — Local punk Andrew “RatFink” Haseley was recently offered a cool $300 by the hit History Channel show “Pawn Stars” under the condition…
ATLANTA — Local woman Anna Valentina shared Monday that the most redeeming aspect of being polyamorous is having the freedom to stay open to a…
CAMBRIDGE, Mass. — Behavioral scientists at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology announced a breakthrough discovery of a theoretical fourth option for occupying a person’s hands…
SEATTLE — Former ladies’ man Ethan Morrison ushered in a new, glorious era today in which he will show respect for exactly one woman, revealing…
Released in 1994, Little Giants is the classic underdog story of a misfit football team overcoming the odds to defeat their more talented opponents with…
CHICAGO — Legendary scene veteren Brent “Possum” Donello ended his punk phase with the ritual purchase of a queen-size Belgian Flax linen duvet cover from…
FLEMINGTON, NJ. — Local sociopath and deranged serial killer Parker Greene enthusiastically pulled 20 teeth out of the front pocket of a pair of jeans…
SEATTLE — Beloved Christmas icon Santa Claus announced today that he is starting a GoFundMe campaign after his sleigh was broken into while on his…
BETHLEHEM, Judea — Three magi arrived at a venue last night for the Christ child shortly after his birth, along with a young drummer who…