DETROIT — Local metalhead, 36-year-old Denny Brokum, is reportedly willing to admit that he hasn’t heard of the band Scatological Wasteland but is confident that…
PEMBROKE, N.H. — Local crackpot Denise Bemis recently hit a roadblock in her conspiratorial ramblings when she began trying to comprehend how the USDA Food…
NASHVILLE, Tenn. — Singer/songwriter Joan Schuller is back in the studio after a 12-year hiatus making what sources excitedly report to be the worst album…
SEATTLE — Local man Troy Ritter announced his departure as the longtime merch guy for indie band Inside Cat to embark on a solo merch…
MILAN, Italy — The incorporeal specter that has haunted the historic La Scala opera house for more than two centuries recently came to accept the…
AUBURN, Maine — Local resident Charles Brennan’s screen door proved to be an effective way to measure the sobriety of guests at his house party…
BUTLER, Pa. — Local lesbian Katie Hargrove recently came to the horrifying realization that she is becoming her father, sources currently standing at her window…
HOUSTON — Local punk Colin “Colonic” Birch continues to refer to his parents’ guest house, a two-bedroom A-frame with pool access where he has lived…
MILWAUKEE — Red Hot Chili Peppers frontman Anthony Kiedis dramatically strode forward from the shadows after the word “California” was uttered in conversation by several…
GLENDALE, Calif. — Local musician Charlie Clarke is reportedly threatening to join the growing boycott of Spotify and stop using the account that linked to…
JERUSALEM — Archeologists from Brown University made a bombshell discovery late last week in a long-lost scripture describing Jesus being super rude to the waiter…
LOS ANGELES — Progressive rock band, Sagramore, surprised attendees of their most recent show when they used the time schedule for an encore to assign…
DALLAS — Gary McGee, a 50-year-old insurance salesman from Fort Worth who recently married mother of three, Linda Villalobos, is by far the children’s hairiest…
CHARLESTON, W.Va. — Local man and lead singer of popular metal band, A Fistful of Fetuses, thought it a good idea to consult his company’s…
BOULDER, Colo. — Local man and obvious liar, Benjamin Walters, who was recently diagnosed with COVID, claims to have caught at “the gnarliest show” he’d…