In the event that there are any marine biologists, firearm experts, or, I dunno, active coast guard members reading this,…
Read More →
FOUNTAIN HILLS, Ariz. — Totally jacked local man Chris Wilkins reportedly spent years preparing his body for retribution on his…
Read More →
BATON ROUGE, La. — Wedding guest Jennie Fultz committed a major fashion faux pas last weekend by wearing a black…
Read More →
ANN ARBOR, Mich. — Perpetually pie-eyed local man Dominic “Mitch” Wozinski was invited last night by expectant parents Christine and…
Read More →
There is no way to tell John Mellencamp’s story without telling my own. And if his story is really a…
Read More →
CHICAGO — Polyamorous man John Castenda gallantly put both of his girlfriends on his shoulders at the Rainy Days Music…
Read More →
COLUMBUS, Ohio — A fuzzy little punk roommate known only as “Banjo” twitched adorably in his sleep yesterday, presumably dreaming…
Read More →
BETHESDA, Md. — Local woman Tabitha Wicksham is “not at all worried” about her husband sleeping with groupies during his…
Read More →
STAFFORD, Texas — 59-year-old custom bathroom tile salesman John Canales was shocked to learn from his punk son yesterday that…
Read More →
DES MOINES, Iowa — Former Vice President Joe Biden requested moments ago to perform a “physical challenge” in lieu of…
Read More →
