Bruce Springsteen is the greatest musician of all time and I refuse to entertain the notion that there is anyone who comes close to His…
I’ve recently become single. During a pandemic. I’ll confirm what I’m sure you already know: it blows. If you’d like to avoid contracting the coronavirus,…
As Thanksgiving approaches, and COVID-19 rates get progressively worse, many of my friends are shocked that I still plan on visiting my family for what…
CHICAGO — Chicago Police Sgt. Connor Ring is on paid administrative leave after he shot a toddler in the face for “getting his nose” at…
MURRAY, Utah — Card-carrying member of both the NRA and Costco’s premium membership Greg Young was forced to leave the bulk-grocery chain this past Wednesday,…
Spongebob Squarepants.The bubble-blowing, fun-loving, flamboyant sea sponge has been entertaining young children and stoned adults for over 20 years. But while Spongebob is fictional, a…
SALT LAKE CITY — Barista and local punk Miranda Byers is celebrating her additional shift at Baxter’s Garden today with a splurge purchase of the…
I am well aware that the characters in “Law & Order: SVU” occasionally use excessive force and routinely engage in unethical policing tactics, such as…
Politicians are arguing over how best to implement a stimulus package and all I can think about is how much I’d like to be back…
CHICAGO — Local punk Allen Prestigiacomo is now unemployed from home, thanks to Illinois Governor J.B. Pritzker’s decree forcing bars and dine-in restaurants to close…
We’re at a crossroads here, and I don’t believe that social distancing is going to save us. Sure, I think the CDC has its heart…
NAPERVILLE, Ill. — 26-year old DIY punk and scene fixture Jax Williamson will use dental floss to fix almost anything other than their oral hygiene…
CHICAGO — Logan Square resident Nick McMahon is enjoying the social capital gained from his passionate tweets against police brutality, but secretly hopes others don’t…
CHICAGO — Democratic presidential hopeful Pete Buttigieg admitted yesterday that, in times of quiet reflection, he often daydreams about ordering the first openly LGBTQ drone…
Hey dude, turn that shit off, put on that last Racetraitor record and get everyone to gather round. Why? Check this shit out. Chris’s brother…