Some people climb rocks for fun. Others pass time crafting needlepoint creations. Still, others like to observe birds. This last group is a bunch of…
NEW YORK — OneStar Bank CEO Finnegan Bostwick claimed today that if the U.S. Congress doesn’t pass a separate bailout including $40 billion for his…
It’s a pretty well-known fact that the television show “Law & Order: Special Victims Unit” has been a breeding ground for influential crossover thrash acts…
PLAINVIEW, N.Y. — 16-year-old Misty Lebowitz carelessly endangered her much, much older and immunocompromised pop-punk singer boyfriend Scotty McDickers yesterday when she defied New York’s…
LOS ANGELES — Quarantined Los Angelino Freddy Garcia has spent a majority of his COVID-19 isolation time pleasuring himself to the unusually green Google Maps…
DENVER — Local nerd Eugene Boscroft asked aghast record store employees moments ago to help him find old compilations from Fat Wreck Chords, which he…
Sex education in America is deplorable. Public schools are still trying to teach abstinence as if half the students aren’t already boning under the bleachers…
ATLANTA — Local emotional support dog and shivering, terrified Spitz-mix Bartholomew was forced yesterday to fly on a 5-hour commercial flight to Seattle despite also…
SIOUX FALLS, S.D. — Capitalizing on the true crime entertainment craze, Clifford Waters has turned his grief over his wife’s murder into fame and cash…
POMONA, Calif. — Indie punk band The Immoralities’ latest vinyl album allegedly contains no download code, forcing fans to perform the arduous task of actually…
LAWRENCE, Kan. — Comedy maven and respectable drummer Darrel Reynolds sent his bandmates into laughing fits yesterday by asking his math rock band Alcoholy Water…
WORCESTER, Mass. — Local straight edge man Matt Parrish reportedly thinks that his girlfriend of eight months is only interested in him for his clean,…
So it said on your profile that you enjoy rock climbing. Well, I have a paralyzing fear of heights but I’d totally go and watch…
Nostalgia for the ‘90s appeals to absolutely everyone. You can’t even work a shift at Kroger without seeing someone in a “Dexter’s Lab” graphic tee,…
Who is your favorite Beatle? Some choose the harder-rocking, experimental John Lennon. Others prefer the technical expertise of George Harrison. Hipster contrarians make compelling arguments…