They say the day your child is born is supposed to be the greatest day of your life. I’m here to tell you that’s a…
When I moved to Los Angeles to make it as a musician or actor or influencer, I had no illusions about how hard it would…
Please allow me to introduce myself, I’m a man concerned with global warming. My name is Orlov von Maximoff, a former Romanian count, but you…
Over the years I have received mounting criticism for exercising my right to wield a homemade knife glove and enter the dreams of local children.…
People of this bank listen up, ’cause I got something to say. The state of the world is chaotic right now. We’re all facing a…
It’s a bittersweet feeling to realize you’ve peaked, but at least when I look back up at my personal zenith I can honestly say, “not…
Ever since I discovered BDSM Tumblr as a youth, I have dreamt of dying at the hands of horned-up sadistic hellspawn. I dedicated my life…
Well, boil, boil, toil, and NOT SO MUCH TROUBLE apparently. Ever since I was introduced to the tale of Hansel and Gretel as a child…
Who could forget the sultry trip-hop of Portishead? The answer is me, and most men under the age of 30, but it’s time to change…
Salutations and tip of my cap, officers of the Sunnybay Police Department. You don’t know me, not yet, but you are familiar with my work.…
Whether you’re a parent trying to educate your children, a nostalgic ‘90s kid, or just an idiot who still needs basic science explained to you,…
I know this isn’t a popular thing to say nowadays, but not all cops. Sure, some deplorable behavior has come to light in recent years,…
David Sedaris is one of the most beloved and universally appreciated writers of our time. His sharp wit, powers of observation and dark humor-meets-heart approach…