Dan Rice, Author at HARDTIMES

QUIZ: Are You Really in Jean-Paul Sartre’s “No Exit” or Are You Just Watching Bill Maher Interview Jordan Peterson on Ketamine?

August 22, 2024

Hell is other people, and what two people could possibly be more hell than right-wing academic clown Jordan Peterson and…

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Stolen Valor? Critics Are Claiming Photos of Donald Trump During His Time With the A-Team Were AI Generated

August 20, 2024

Military families were once a cornerstone of Trump’s base, but lately it seems like he can’t stop striking out with…

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The Top 20 Luxury Couches of 2024 Ranked by J.D. Vance

August 19, 2024

Hello, my name is J.D. Vance, and I am running for Vice President of these United States, but that's not…

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Weird Al Songs Ranked by How Likely They’ll Become Trump’s Campaign Anthem

August 14, 2024

The Trump campaign has been in a downward spiral ever since the media caught wind of the fact that he…

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Every Character From “Labyrinth” Ranked by Their Appearances in Our Bizarre, Confusing Sex Dreams

August 8, 2024

From early Greek mythology to the writing of Carl Jung, the Labyrinth has long been used as a metaphor for…

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Officials Confirm Olympic Games “May Never Recover” From Rob Schneider Boycott

July 31, 2024

PARIS — International Olympics Committee spokesperson Mark Adams confirmed that the 3000-year-old world amateur sporting contest was “Unlikely to continue”…

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Opinion: That Guy Who Follows the Same Pornstars as Me on Instagram Is a Real Creep

July 29, 2024

I had an extremely toxic relationship with social media for years, but I’ve finally whittled it down to just one…

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Ranked: Every David Lynch Movie We Would Rather Live In Than Deal with This Election

July 23, 2024

Unless you’re a very particular type of person, the films of David Lynch are not what come to mind when…

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Wanna Feel Old: Gargoyles Came Out 30 Years Ago, and You’re a Loser

July 18, 2024

Are you ready to be devastated by the ravages of time? I mean just completely gutted, like looking at the…

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Democrats in Crisis After President Biden Uses Bathroom With Hot Mic and Confesses to Robert Durst Murders

July 12, 2024

WASHINGTON — Top Democratic decision-makers are reportedly doing damage control after President Biden confessed to multiple murders on a hot…

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