Dan Kozuh, Author at HARDTIMES

November 15, 2021

HOMEWOOD, Ill. — First responders are attempting to reach a group of fathers that became stuck when a local man-cave…

November 7, 2021

Okay now just relax. I want you to close your eyes, inhale for a count of four, hold for a…

September 26, 2021

OMAHA, Neb. — Local aging punk Adrian Cox, once known for outlandish behavior like snacking on shattered light bulbs, refused…

September 8, 2021

CHICAGO — Local nonagenarian Horace Miles finally settled on a design for what he would like his first tattoo to…

August 24, 2021

BRIDGEPORT, Conn. — Heavy Metal Archaeologists remain locked in fierce debate over who erected a pyramid of Coors Light cans…

August 17, 2021

SAN FRANCISCO — New COVID-19 mutation the Gamma Variant garnered attention with a cryptic tweet telling followers it had “big”…

June 21, 2021

CEDAR HILLS, Ore. — Local casually practicing Wiccans Lois and Timothy Webb told friends earlier this week that, while they…

May 31, 2021

BUFFALO, N.Y. — Local Vampire Weekend fan Archie Poole felt betrayed, confused, and saddened this week after hearing the music…

May 21, 2021

PEORIA, Ill. — Self-described wolf enthusiast Roy Greene immortalized his obsession with the animal since childhood in a hastily drawn…

May 3, 2021

Hey you! Yeah you, the gentrifying piece of shit driving around in that planet-destroying truck. Hey, I've got an idea.…