WEBSTER, N.Y. — Leading music experts unanimously agreed that arguments between fans over which metal bands are considered to be part of which subgenres is…
FULTON, Ill. — Several fire department officials deemed a recent fire at a local Christian church to be caused by the chapel’s decades-old electrical wiring…
ST. LOUIS — Members of Metallica, the biggest and undoubtedly most financially successful metal band of all time, are suing a 27-year-old fan for producing merchandise…
CHICAGO — Several TSA agents at O’Hare International Airport detained metal fan Aex Parker for attempting to board a flight to Germany while carrying an…
It’s no secret the world is becoming more and more difficult for the working man such as myself to make ends meet. Be it Self-checkouts…
FORT WAYNE, Ind. — A recently discovered painting of Leonardo da Vinci’s the lost lower half of “Mona Lisa” depicted the subject wearing JNCO jeans,…
ELMIRA, N.Y. — Local Wendy’s employee Jared Snyder was blissfully unaware that the broom he had picked up to play air guitar with in a…
The best thing about music, whether it be punk or metal or any genre of music that has been around long enough to establish strong…
ITHACA, N.Y. — A new report conducted by local baby boomer Paul Rundle states that vinyl, which he used to own “tons of” back in…
CLEVELAND — DragonForce fan and master of the secret art of the ninja Josh Mullins once again reminded members of his family that the weapons…
TORONTO — Legendary Canadian heavy metal band Stone Hammer were completely transparent when addressing fans about their new record, saying that the material is definitely…
NEW YORK — Local weakling and black metal singer Percy “Blall” Miller of the group Assküm spent the entirety of his band’s 30-minute set attempting…
ORCHARD PARK, N.Y. — Local die-hard Casualties fan Jeremy Stillman was struck with what was described as “blood curdling terror” after waking up from a…
CHARLESTON, S.C. — Former singer Jane “Skuz” McMillan of punk band Capitalfister became irate when an appraiser broke the news that her band’s old show…
NEW YORK — Frontman Derek Hughes of local hardcore band 10th Period Beatdown was shocked after he noticed a large chunk of the microphone he…