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Court Order States Buckcherry Fan Not Allowed Within 50 Feet of Any Tattoo Guns

ANAHEIM, Calif. — A county judge recently issued a rare order of protection against Buckcherry fan Ricky Stewart forbidding him to come within 50 feet of any tattoo guns due to his obscene, Buckcherry-inspired tattoos, several inebriated sources report.

“I thought this was a free country, man. If I want to enhance my body with tribal tattoos and tats of a band I’ve seen several times on their state fair and casino tour, I should be able to,” Stewart said, adding that he spent a whopping $38 dollars to have “chaos” tattooed on his abdomen just like Buckcherry singer Josh Todd. “One minute I’m in my buddy’s garage, getting some ink done, then the next minute a SWAT team breaks in and now I have to let everyone on my block know I’m a Buckcherry fan. This is more harsh than my coke possession and second-degree manslaughter charges.”

Judge Lisa McGregor believes her decision to issue the order is for the good of the community.

“The crude, irresponsible, and downright heinous display of so-called ‘body art’ depicted on the defendant left me no other choice but to make sure it doesn’t happen again,” Judge McGregor explained. “Not only is it an egregious abuse of the art of tattooing, it’s also an injustice to the defendant himself, and those around him. This was probably one of the clearest open and shut cases I’ve ever seen, only second to the Jeffrey Dahmer one.”

Music historian Ronald Edwards revealed how fans of other bands have had similar run-ins with the court system.

“As most everyone knows, being a fan of music is undoubtedly the most stressful and sometimes dangerous type of person you can be,” Edwards explained. “If you’re into a band that a cop or judge doesn’t enjoy as well, you can find yourself in some serious shit. For example, Tool fans all over the world have court-ordered restrictions on aux cord abilities. Others require law enforcement supervision to even assemble a Spotify playlist for a party. Sometimes being a closet fan is simply the better option.”

At press time, it was reported a fan in Texas was issued the death penalty for receiving a Puddle of Mud-inspired tattoo.