PURGATORY — The afterlife faced a major shake-up after the Angel of Death was placed on administrative leave for his failure to kill GOP Senator…
LOS ANGELES — Former Blink 182 member Matt Skiba frantically searched “how to play drums” upon news that Travis Barker’s hand surgery would postpone the…
NEW YORK — Local dominatrix Angela Jones is parading her sub around while he wears her Doc Martens in order to break in the notoriously…
Hey bud. Can we talk a minute? I think you’re old enough where we can talk man to man about something everyone at your age…
Until recently I’ve never sweated any of this talk about how automation will replace humans in the workforce. But the rise of artificially intelligent, procedurally…
HOLDREDGE, Neb. — Local teen Marissa Jenson is still dutifully waiting for her much older boyfriend to return home after leaving town to defend pop…
CULVER CITY, Calif. — “Wheel of Fortune” contestant and local punk Bruce Hughes inadvertently challenged the game rules after asking to bum a vowel, exasperated…
CRESCENT CITY, Calif. — A highly sought after stick-and-poke tattoo artist at the notorious Pelican Bay State Prison revealed to fellow inmates that he is…
PORTLAND, Ore. — Decemberists lead singer Colin Meloy brought recording to a halt and began frantically asking band members if they could also see the…
The memories of Christmases of my youth never fail to fill my heart. Sure the gifts were great, but the look on my parents’ faces…
Christmas is the one time of year family can come together and celebrate what truly matters: being beleaguered by extended family. My aunt, who is…
ST. PAUL, Minn. — Local police officer Brad Chapman allegedly planted a pot brownie at an elementary school’s bake sale, which was competing against his…
PHILADELPHIA — Local punk Kyle Shillington was seen canvassing his neighborhood in hopes of confirming that a feral cat who bit him survived the ordeal,…
LOS ANGELES — The Hallmark Channel announced that their slate of upcoming holiday movies will be their most enticing yet with ten times more storylines…
WEST ORANGE, N.J. — Local mother Helen McGuire allowed her sons to borrow her van so their band Uncle Punch could take it out on…