The Next Dracula? This Eastern European Guy Just Bit Me
HELP! Please you have to do something, I’m not sure how much time I have left until I turn. As…
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Ben Friedman — Page 20
347 stories found
DJ Utilizes Downtime on Stage to Do His Taxes
LAS VEGAS — Enterprising DJ Brian “Blaze” Johnson took multitasking to a new level after utilizing the majority of his…
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Groundbreaking Sex Scene in Hallmark Movie Depicts 20 Seconds of Dry Humping
KANSAS CITY, Mo. — Hallmark Channel’s newest movie reportedly features a groundbreaking sex scene depicting 20 seconds of dry humping…
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Opinion: Listen up Liberal! I’m Scared and Need To Be Held
This country is going to hell. Everyday there’s some new bullshit that threatens our American way of life, like Taylor…
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Conservative Think Tank Spends $40 Million Trying to Frame Girl Scout Cookies as Woke
ALEXANDRIA, Va. — A bombshell study recently revealed a Conservative think tank spent $40 million trying to find a way…
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Trouble in Paradise? My Wife Just Sent Me Nudes Followed by “Sorry, Wrong Number”
The foundation of any good marriage is communication, which is why my wife and I text each other multiple times…
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We Rank the Characters from “Cartoon All-Stars to the Rescue” Based on How Likely They Eventually Got Addicted to Drugs
"Cartoon All-Stars to the Rescue" was arguably one of the most exciting crossover events of many Millennial childhoods, despite it…
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Just Because I’m From New Jersey Doesn’t Mean I Drive Like an Asshole, but Yeah I Always Do 110 Mph Down the Turnpike
Pardon me, sir! Yeah I’m talking to you pal, roll your damn window down. I couldn’t help but notice you…
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Sam Mendes’ Ringo Movie Mostly Drum Fills and Smoking as Rest of Band Argues
LOS ANGELES — Acclaimed film director Sam Mendes announced that his ambitious portrayal of the Beatles, which will be told…
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7 Intellectual Properties We’re Going to Sully Once They Enter the Public Domain in 2025
Milking the public domain for profit is nothing new, but Steamboat Willie becoming fair game has everyone tripping over themselves…
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