Pig Suspecting Punk Only Adopted It for His Kidneys
ASHEVILLE, N.C. — A domesticated pig found his life in jeopardy as he began to suspect his punk owner Kevin…
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Ben Friedman — Page 21
365 stories found
Opinion: Some of You Never Had to Duct Tape Your Discman Shut in High School and It Shows
It seems like wherever you look these days, we’re surrounded by people who’ve never known a minute of strife, let…
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CEO Calls All Hands on Deck Meeting to Tell Employees About Cool Band He Discovered, Also Massive Layoffs
PALO ALTO, Calif. — CEO Steve Westwood of tech juggernaut SnaxR called an emergency all-hands-on-deck meeting to excitedly inform employees…
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Child of Broken Up Polycule Looking Forward to Six Birthdays and Christmases
SYRACUSE, N.Y. — Eight-year-old Chase Gibson was optimistic after the dissolution of the polycule that had raised him since birth…
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Man Humiliated at Karaoke Bar After Forgetting Lyrics to Daft Punk’s “Around the World”
MINNEAPOLIS — Local man Jeff Abrams made a complete ass of himself after blanking on the lyrics to Daft Punk’s…
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Study Finds More Americans Taking on Second or Third Mid-Life Crises
WASHINGTON — A recent study conducted by the Census Bureau revealed that the majority of Millennial Americans are forced to…
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We Sit Down with the One Guy Whose Student Loans Were Canceled by Biden
President Biden’s SAVE plan, his audacious agenda to cancel student loans for millions of Americans, was immediately embraced by the…
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Punk’s Urine Being Green Unrelated to St. Patrick’s Day Bender
KUTZTOWN, Pa. — St. Patrick’s Day reveler and local punk Shane Becker was unconcerned that his green-tinted urine had nothing…
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The Next Dracula? This Eastern European Guy Just Bit Me
HELP! Please you have to do something, I’m not sure how much time I have left until I turn. As…
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DJ Utilizes Downtime on Stage to Do His Taxes
LAS VEGAS — Enterprising DJ Brian “Blaze” Johnson took multitasking to a new level after utilizing the majority of his…
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