Life Hack? I’m Attributing My Awful Behavior to “God’s Plan”
For most of my life, I was never in the camp that believed my life was predetermined by an all-powerful…
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Ben Friedman — Page 23
365 stories found
20 Depeche Mode Songs to Make Your Shift at the Factory Even Hornier
Hey working stiffs, do you feel like there’s something that could make getting scheduled 2nd shifts at the factory more…
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The Next Annie Oakley? This Woman Shot Down Ten Guys in Six Seconds
Hold onto your hats partners, because the most sensational extravaganza of the year just blew into town. We may have…
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boygenius Not Sure How Many Iconic Photoshoots They Have Left in Them
LOS ANGELES — Lucy Dacus, Phoebe Bridgers, and Julien Baker announced boygenius will be taking a hiatus after they realized…
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How to Explain to Your Parents that They Don’t Need to Comment on Every Facebook Post They See
The way our parents engage on Facebook with the same excitement and wonder as we did in the mid-2000s is…
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Pitbull Only Member of Punk House Who Hasn’t Bitten Someone
PORTLAND, Ore. — Current occupants of notorious punk house Shitshow Chateau revealed that their resident pitbull Hammer is the only…
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Opinion: Uh, I Definitely Have a Girlfriend She Just Lives in Canada and is Emily Haines from Metric
I'll be the first to admit that I'm a solid 6 on a good day but looks aren't everything! I…
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Crowd Braces for a Long Night After Band Opens Set With Their Biggest Hit
CHICAGO — An uneasy crowd braced for a long night at a local club after once popular ‘90s alt rock…
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Man Out to Fancy Dinner with Girlfriend Stares Longingly at Dive Bar Across the Street
MINNEAPOLIS — Local man Dan Stanford was accused of derailing date night at an upscale restaurant after he spent most…
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Punk’s LinkedIn Headshot Only Picture of Him Not Blackout Drunk
SANTA FE, N.M. — Local punk Trevor McGill was shocked but not surprised to find the only existing photo of…
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