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Man Humiliated at Karaoke Bar After Forgetting Lyrics to Daft Punk’s “Around the World”

MINNEAPOLIS — Local man Jeff Abrams made a complete ass of himself after blanking on the lyrics to Daft Punk’s “Around the World” during his performance at karaoke, confirmed sources.

“I don’t even like karaoke, but it’s my friend’s birthday so I had to participate, and I thought I picked the easiest song. In my defense there were like four people watching me so maybe stage fright got the best of me, but my mind just went blank as soon as the prompter started. I thought it was stuck on the title screen!” said Abrams. “I was just blurting out anything like ‘across the globe’ and at one point I started doing William Shatner’s version of ‘Rocket Man.’ I don’t know what is worse, that I fucked this up or that I did so for seven straight minutes.”

Abrams’ friends were slowly finding, to their horror, that he was not doing a bit.

“I honestly thought he was messing with us until we all noticed he was sweating profusely and looking like he was having a panic attack. Jeff literally has 144 chances to get right and he’s assembling every other combination of words except the correct ones. We even tried to help him by singing along and he told us to ‘Shut the fuck up’ and threatened to stab us,” said Kelsey Smith. “I have witnessed this man scream indecipherable black metal music effortlessly and here he is now unable to string three words together. I mean we’re never going to let him live this down of course, but right now he needs to fake some technical difficulties because this is painful to watch.”

Bar staff veterans of the karaoke night shift had seen countless bad performances, but none like this.

“The split between bad and good karaoke singers is like 30/70 on a good night. I’d rather see a drunken, off-key, and badly timed performance than whatever this guy is doing. I’ve never seen secondhand embarrassment this bad since the night we watched some dude botch The Exploited’s ‘Sex and Violence,’” said bartender Greg Stacey. “I just hope he stays away from social media for a few days because everyone in the bar is recording this train wreck. Poor bastard is going to be internet famous.”

Abrams’ attempt to redeem himself backfired spectacularly, as he was booed mercilessly offstage after forgetting the lyrics to “Tequila.”