Opinion: You Can Pry My Skinny Jeans Off of My Cold Dead Legs
There is probably no inalienable right greater than freedom of expression, and what better way to tell the world that…
Read More →
Ben Friedman — Page 19
353 stories found
Poser Alert! Those Assholes From the “Punk” CD Compilation Were Paid Actors
There is something that’s been bothering me for nearly 20 years now, and I’m sure a few of you may…
Read More →
Boomer Furious After Having Car Misgendered
LANSING, Mich. — Local 72-year-old conservative Gerald Wakowski was on the verge of a complete meltdown after a passerby misgendered…
Read More →
The Next Criterion Closet? Here’s Our DVD Haul From Goodwill
It’s hard to believe it, but we had the privilege to take our picks from the Plymouth, MN Goodwill’s meticulously…
Read More →
NBC Adds “Chicago Hardcore” to City-Themed Lineup
LOS ANGELES — NBC announced they would be expanding its One Chicago universe this fall by focusing on the punk…
Read More →
Target Celebrates Record Store Day with 35 Different Versions of Taylor Swift’s “The Tortured Poets Department”
MINNEAPOLIS, Minn. — Retail conglomerate Target announced today that they would be participating in Record Store Day by offering 35…
Read More →
Was Your Loved One Killed by Ten Million Pounds of Sludge From New York and New Jersey? You May Be Entitled to Compensation
Attention Boston area residents! Was one or more of your loved ones killed by ten million pounds of sludge from…
Read More →
Man Trying Raw Meat Diet Hoping Debilitating Salmonella Part of the Process
INDIANAPOLIS — Local man Dave McGrath is clinging to hope that contracting salmonella is part of the process of the…
Read More →
Pig Suspecting Punk Only Adopted It for His Kidneys
ASHEVILLE, N.C. — A domesticated pig found his life in jeopardy as he began to suspect his punk owner Kevin…
Read More →
Opinion: Some of You Never Had to Duct Tape Your Discman Shut in High School and It Shows
It seems like wherever you look these days, we’re surrounded by people who’ve never known a minute of strife, let…
Read More →