Opinion: Here’s Why I Sold My House and Moved Into an Eames Lounge Chair May 28, 2024 Those of us lucky enough to own a home know how much of a pain in the ass they are… Read More →
Conservative Owns the Libs by Paying $4,000 a Month for His Ford F-350 May 22, 2024 CHATTANOOGA, Tenn. — Local conservative Bill Wallace announced he’s ramped up his fight against the liberal agenda by spending $4,000… Read More →
Opinion: It Might Be the Gas Station Boner Pills Talking, but I Think I’m Experiencing Mass Organ Failure May 11, 2024 Damn girl, this night has been magical. Looking at you now has me breaking out into a cold sweat. Like… Read More →
The Hold Steady’s Children’s Book Mostly About Blacking Out at Minneapolis Dive Bars May 10, 2024 NEW YORK — A preview of the upcoming children's book based on the lyrics of The Hold Steady’s “Stay Positive”… Read More →
Opinion: Well, I Found the Clit. Now What? May 7, 2024 Like the quests for the Fountain of Youth or the Holy Grail, I too have spent what feels like eons… Read More →
Weird! All of this Millennial’s Opinions About Pop Culture Align With Chuck Klosterman’s May 6, 2024 It’s been said there are no such thing as coincidences, and that naturally occurring phenomena can be explained no matter… Read More →
We Sat Down at the Cool Kids Table and Were Savagely Ridiculed May 2, 2024 Kids these days, what’s up with them? Seriously, we have no idea what the hell is going on with Gen… Read More →
Opinion: You Can Pry My Skinny Jeans Off of My Cold Dead Legs April 30, 2024 There is probably no inalienable right greater than freedom of expression, and what better way to tell the world that… Read More →
Poser Alert! Those Assholes From the “Punk” CD Compilation Were Paid Actors April 27, 2024 There is something that’s been bothering me for nearly 20 years now, and I’m sure a few of you may… Read More →
Boomer Furious After Having Car Misgendered April 23, 2024 LANSING, Mich. — Local 72-year-old conservative Gerald Wakowski was on the verge of a complete meltdown after a passerby misgendered… Read More →