Press "Enter" to skip to content

The Next Criterion Closet? Here’s Our DVD Haul From Goodwill

It’s hard to believe it, but we had the privilege to take our picks from the Plymouth, MN Goodwill’s meticulously curated wall of used DVDs. It was overwhelming but we managed to walk away with a tote full of stone-cold classics.

Still Waiting…

The fact that most of the original cast “Waiting” refused to return inadvertently drives home the film’s themes about the cyclical, ever-changing nature of the hospitality industry and life itself.  Plus it has Andy Milonakis rapping, which in the early years of the Obama administration was considered the zenith of comedy.

Nine Copies of Ella Enchanted

A fascinating and underrated fantasy film, it serves as a bridge in Anne Hathaway’s career connecting “The Princess Diaries “and “The Devil Wears Prada”. Even more fascinating is that the checkout clerk insisted we take all of their copies, which we assume will make more room for the ten copies of Ella Enchanted that were just donated.

Matrix Reloaded (Full Screen Version)

Fuck, we mean to get widescreen! God this looks like shit. It’s like watching a movie through a magnifying glass. Why did they bother to create a version like this?

Yoga Booty Ballet: Hip Hop Abs

Swerve Studios’ influential workout videos were like if Kieślowski’s “Three Colours” trilogy was about aerobic-yoga fusion. The third in the series combined the serene fluidity of ballet and the self-discipline of yoga in a manner that looks like your mom trying to exercise after four mimosas at brunch. Five stars.

Pulp Fiction

You haven’t seen Pulp Fiction? It’s easily Tarantino’s best film, nobody was making movies like this in the early 90’s. You should come over and watch it sometime. I swear to God it’s going to change your life. Oh, wait, I just opened the case and there’s a Veggie Tales disc inside. That happens a lot.

Delta Farce

It’s no secret that this homage to Full Metal Jacket completely derailed the career of Larry the Cable Guy. Some critics will tell you they walked out of screenings because it was “mind-numbingly bad”, but you’ll rarely see a more accurate depiction of what kind of people actually make up our armed forces. It’s like “Come and See” but with more fart jokes.

The Bounty Hunter

Wait, Jennifer Aniston is in this? We could’ve sworn it was Katherine Heigel. Maybe we were thinking of “The Ugly Truth” which also has Gerard Butler. Though now that we open the case it says “One for the Money”, in which Heigel is the bounty hunter. Jesus, how many bounty hunter rom coms are there?

24: The Complete Sixth Season (Blue CD-R Variant)

One has to admire the fact someone was able to fit all 24 episodes of season six onto one CD and has its own bespoke cover art (a post-it note shoved inside the plastic sleeve). But despite the fact that it’s clearly ripped from The Pirate Bay and we can only watch it on our computer, it’s easily one of the network counter-terrorism dramas of all time.