MILWAUKEE — Milwaukee Chief of Police Roger Brooks held a department-wide meeting today to remind his officers not to wear their white hoods after Labor…
WASHINGTON — Disturbing new research from the Brookings Institute has found that thousands of young, white men across America are being funneled directly from the…
PORTLAND, Ore. — Local marketing associate and Black person Imani Phillips found yesterday that her iPhone X’s storage is almost entirely full of overly supportive…
NEW YORK — Local white woman Rebecca Shulz went viral today after calling The Police a better band than The Beatles in what witnesses described…
MINNEAPOLIS — Local cop and bland-tasted white guy Cody Anderson admitted earlier today that, despite his general aversion to any seasoning heavier than salt, he…
DALLAS — White liberal and exhausted local ally, Sonya Neptin, is wondering how many tweets they have to write before racism is finally cancelled, sources…
CHICAGO — Local goth Raven Stevens spent her entire savings on new clothes yesterday after an attempt to eat a powdered donut backfired catastrophically, a…
NASHVILLE, Tenn. — Militant renaissance man Jack White filed his 2020 tax return on vinyl in a move that’s thrilling high-fidelity taxpayers, according to sources…
NEW ORLEANS — Local punk Sarah Moreno was seen scouring the crowd at a show last night for her blind date, a “white guy in…
AURORA, Ill. — Soon-to-be 36-year-old white man James Brady is spending his last days in the 18-to-35 consumer demographic saying a final goodbye to being…
TULSA, Okla. — Local white student Tiffany Copeland took part in an ancient rite of passage today, effectively transforming into a full-blooded Native American by…
CHICAGO — Local nerd Chris Patson found himself in a tight spot this morning during a political argument with his African American friend Carla Stevenson…
Prick up your Commie ears, Libtards! Because I’m only going to say this once. I REFUSE to apologize for being white. And yes, I am…
WASHINGTON — A report released today by a government efficiency watchdog group offered conclusive proof of “absolutely no collusion” between White House staff members, due…
Last week my editor sent me to a Bed Stuy warehouse space to interview a rapper currently blowing up the music world, Lil Uzi Vert.…