SECAUCUS, N.J. — The newly created Merch Guy Hall of Fame announced its inaugural class of inductees consisting entirely of pretty average looking dudes named…
MONTREAL — An alarming new study revealed that body dysmorphia diagnoses skyrocketed just hours after clothing manufacturer Gildan released a highly maligned intimate apparel collection.…
INDIANAPOLIS — Discerning merch buyers and dedicated fans of band doing pretty well for themselves, Stay Swell, were pleased to discover that affordably priced bootleg…
SCOTCH PLAINS, N.J. — Local software engineer and Faith No More superfan Duane Morsman left his residence this morning wearing a Faith No More t-shirt…
SOMERVILLE, Mass. — Local slob Brian Helmes decreed today that the T-shirt he’s worn under his hoodie for the past 17 days is still clean,…
TEMPE, Ariz. — Local man Connor Heath still regrets breaking up with his college girlfriend 20 years on, admitting today that he never got over…
WASHINGTONVILLE, N.Y. — 30-year-old pop-punk fan T.J. Keen pushed the limits of age and style last night by wearing an ill-fitting Joyce Manor T-shirt to…
HOUSTON — Local woman Claudia Sims was criticized yesterday for wearing a NASA T-shirt, despite the fact that she has never traveled outside of the…
TITTY CITY — Female Body Inspector Benjamin Travis Dover was fired this morning following several recent disciplinary incidents, forcing him to turn in his gun…
OMAHA, Neb. — A decades-old Rancid T-shirt finally crossed the threshold last week from a piece of dingy, raggedy garbage that offended all who gazed…
PORTLAND, Ore. — Fans of popular post-punk band Joy Division lined up for hours overnight to pick up a new reissue of the beloved 1979…
SEATTLE — The dismal sales of a T-shirt featuring an amazing design were blamed on the inclusion of the band name Love Drinking Pee-Pee, potential…
ATLANTA — Iggy Pop slipped into anonymity at the Project Pabst festival today by putting on a T-shirt, casually strolling incognito on the festival grounds,…
CHICAGO — Building on the success of last year’s Misfits reunion, Riot Fest 2017 will be headlined by another legendary punk act: the original lineup…
BOSTON — Local metalhead Timothy Bogart’s planned early arrival at the airport was derailed last week when he could not find a single non-offensive shirt…