Doug Kolic
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May 27, 2023
DELRAY, Mich. — Leading Juggalo scientists confirmed fascinating new research which indicates that “whoop whoop” has numerous meanings including “hello,”…
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Patrick Crooks
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April 3, 2023
WASHINGTON — A recent study conducted by Georgetown University showed that at least 90 percent of active math rock bands…
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John Danek
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February 1, 2023
MORGANTOWN, W.Va. — A new study revealed that the average millennial has heard the intro to the Minutemen’s classic “Corona”…
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Jay Wells L'Ecuyer
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October 17, 2022
PROVIDENCE, R.I. — Initial intimidation of the 6’ 7 muscly, bearded, heavily tattooed man with his arms crossed was subsequently…
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Tony Morse
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September 8, 2022
LOS ANGELES — Three legendary punk frontmen, Dexter Holland, Milo Aukerman, and Greg Graffin, all departed their respective bands to…
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Chris Bowen
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August 14, 2022
ROCHESTER, N.Y. — A study at the University of Rochester concluded that a staggering 83% of all traffic accidents are…
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Matt McInerney
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August 5, 2022
PROVIDENCE, R.I. — A new study from Brown University concluded that roughly 15% of the entire U.S. economy is based…
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Harry Valentine
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July 12, 2022
ATHENS, Ga. – Researchers at the University of Georgia offered irrefutable proof that leaving an unread article open on an…
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Max Barth
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July 11, 2022
CAMBRIDGE, Mass. — A new study from researchers at Harvard University shows that only 20% of Americans currently have access…
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Peter Woods
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January 8, 2022
ST. LOUIS, Mo. — Local crust punk Lou “Canker Sore” Schultz revised his bucket list to include getting a disease…
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