Punk Tag Archives - Page 463

Website Has No Idea What to Do With Actual Horny MILF In Your Area Who Just Signed Up to Fuck With No Strings Attached

Charles Bill • March 22, 2020

DETROIT — The operators of popular pornography site PornGash were confused and panicked last night when an actual local, horny…

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CDC Suggests Fornicating With Roommate Not Considered Cheating While Under Quarantine

Shea Strauss • March 22, 2020

ATLANTA —The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention is urging people to give a “free pass” for intercourse between roommates…

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amazon, jeff bezos, coronavirus, covid-19

Jeff Bezos Pledges $10 Billion to Eradicate Coronavirus Sufferers

Jon Wood • March 21, 2020

SEATTLE — Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos announced today he is committing $10 billion of his vast personal fortune to completely…

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Defiant Trump Chugs Cup of Coronavirus to Prove Citizens Need Not Worry

The Hard Times Staff • March 21, 2020

WASHINGTON — President Trump held a press conference this morning to drink a full cup of COVID-19, hoping the gesture…

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Metalhead Asks CDC Hotline What to Cough Into If They’ve “Hypothetically” Cut off Their Sleeves

Bobby Korec • March 21, 2020

LOS ANGELES — Local metalhead Layne Medema spoke with a representative from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention hotline…

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Carfax Fox Diagnosed With Coronavirus

Alex Salcido • March 20, 2020

NEW YORK — The Carfax Car Fox TV mascot shocked the world this past Monday as the latest to be…

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Confused Guy Instinctively Motions for Woman at Gym to Remove N95 Mask Before Talking at Her

Krissy Howard • March 20, 2020

HOUSTON — Confused guy and self-described “gym rat” Hunter Brooks habitually motioned today for a woman at a local Planet…

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Punk House Adds More Water to Dr. Bronner’s Bottle to Prepare for Coronavirus

James Knapp • March 20, 2020

PORTLAND, Maine — Residents of local punk house the Fire Trap added more tap water today to the house’s already…

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Girl On OnlyFans Shows Ass, Titties, Several Signs of Advanced Stage Coronavirus

The Hard Times Staff • March 19, 2020

SAN JOSE, Calif. — Popular OnlyFans model LilVickiXX posted a new video earlier today where she showed her ass, tits,…

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biden, joe, joe biden, emails, email, russia

Biden Asks Russia to Help Him Log in to His Email

Jon Wood • March 19, 2020

CLEVELAND — Democratic presidential frontrunner Joe Biden stunned supporters today by soliciting foreign interference from Russian intelligence operatives to help…

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