BOSTON — Local woman Karen Peters was disappointed and annoyed Monday afternoon by Thomas Fisher, her long-time boyfriend, who responded in the affirmative to a…
AKRON, Ohio — After succumbing to a particularly lengthy “weak moment” last month, South Akron resident Karen Lee is reportedly working hard to undo the…
CAMBRIDGE, England — A new study launched by Cambridge University may make extraordinary leaps forward for many fields of science with the discovery of a…
CABO SAN LUCAS, Mexico – Former Van Halen frontman Sammy Hagar has started testing a new addition to his Cabo Wabo tequila line called Cabo…
SANTA CRUZ, Calif. — Scientists at the University of California-Santa Cruz revealed this morning that, after extensive research and clinical trials, they have discovered a…
NEW YORK — U.S. President-elect Donald J. Trump held a press conference this morning to announce the manufacture of Trump Condoms, his latest namesake business…
OLYMPIA, Wash. — Bassist Andy Massey of Tree Eater was reportedly unsure how to respond to a fan asking about his band’s new album, issued exclusively…
ÖRNSKÖLDSVIK, Sweden — Metalhead Scott Armstrong hoarded his savings for nearly two years to take a pilgrimage to the “Mecca of Metal,” Sweden, only to…
Whether you love livin’ in the city or want a suburban home, get what you need to survive in your local scene. Wanted Pittsburgh, PA:…
WASHINGTON — White House Press Secretary Jay Carney spent the week stationed at Kinko’s printing flyers for “the biggest rager to ever take place in…
CHICAGO — Prominent crust-futurist Mark “Musky” Long gave a brief press conference today to promise a crust punk will squat on abandoned property on Mars by…
CAMDEN, N.J. — Epoch, a four-piece prog-rock band described as “a mix between Rush, Genesis, and Yes,” reportedly sent out a rider before embarking on…
REDMOND, Wash. — Nintendo’s NES Classic drew sharp reactions from critics and fans alike this week with the announcement of the console’s “time limit” feature,…
ELON, N.C. — Christian metal band Bless The Martyr came under fire last week over a flyer for their upcoming performance, which allegedly showed no…
SANTA ROSA, Calif. — Residents of the Two Moons Co-Op report a sudden uptick in passive aggressive post-it notes littering the home, sparking an investigation…