BISBEE, Ariz. — Courtney Howard’s otherwise unshakeable Positive Mental Attitude has been temporarily postponed due to crushing PMS, Howard quietly reported from her blanket cocoon…
CHICAGO — Renowned indie rock band Wilco released a public statement today denying their involvement in the rise of alt-country music. The band refused to…
PORTLAND, Ore. — Self-described feminist and all-women’s art collective manager Aaron Fanning is definitely hiding something, according to reports of “consistent” and “creepy” vibes about…
LOS ANGELES – Researchers from the University of California, Los Angeles released a startling report this morning stating that, despite public outcry, celebrities will continue…
LAS VEGAS — Local musician and amateur bowler Dave Kalan finished another game of bowling in which he only hit the same three pins every…
NEWARK, N.J. — Months of hard work finally paid off for indie rock band Helsinki after locking into a musical performance almost as epic as…
DENVER — Avid guitarwatchers gathered earlier today at Sloan’s Lake Park to watch the last flock of Gibson Flying V’s take flight on their annual…
LOS ANGELES — Fans of the blockbuster Fast and Furious film franchise are voicing concerns about the direction of the latest movie in the series,…
CINCINNATI — The members of Creaky Wound, a Philadelphia-based punk band currently driving down Route 75, had “better settle down or their nationwide tour ends…
SIBERIA — Musicologists on an expedition to capture field recordings of shamanic doom metal bands in Siberia have discovered a long-lost Mastodon demo tape frozen…
CLEVELAND – Two former high school students launched a revolutionary new organization earlier this week called “It Gets Worse,” an educational series directed towards the…
NEW YORK — The Democratic National Committee officially offered to help the organizers of the New Year’s Eve festivities in Times Square drop the ball…
PORTLAND, Maine — A series of simple misunderstandings in conversations with his astrologist girlfriend has led local man Richard Witte to believe there is mercury…
TUCSON, Ariz. — Local woman Sarah Abott reportedly had a personal “modern day Hanukkah miracle” this past week when, despite only having enough battery to…
NEW YORK — After over a decade of predictably attractive, slightly edgy white men claiming the top spot, People magazine has finally chosen the first…