Patrick Coyne
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SUMMERVILLE, S.C. — Local man Aaron Metcalfe is hoping today that one of the apparently hundreds of horny MILFs in…
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Kyle Sekaquaptewa
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BELLEVUE, Wash. — Local 25-year-old man Ryan Mills purchased a medium-sized “Let Russ Cook” Seattle Seahawks T-shirt yesterday, unaware that…
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Billy Patterson
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PHILADELPHIA — Local resident Daniel Mayfield is now in his 10th consecutive year of waiting to be in a good…
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Literally A Koala
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DENVER — Local man Cory McCann is ready to settle down and meet “the one” person he’ll spend the rest…
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Molly Vossler
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WASHINGTON — Griffin Miller, a career contrarian and lifelong advocate of The Devil, has been tapped as Communications Director for…
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Andy Holt
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NEW YORK — Sony Entertainment has acquired exclusive rights to all depictions of arachnids and men in film, television, and…
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Alex Salcido
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PORTLAND, Ore. — Ridiculously attractive man and recent Milwaukee transplant Josh Billingsley left dozens disappointed today after confirming that he…
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Jerrod Kingery
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SPOKANE, Wash. — The upcoming “Beavis and Butt-Head” revival on Comedy Central has finally given 41-year-old Paul Moreno a topic…
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Billy Patterson
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TALLAHASSEE, Fla. — Local Publix shopper Wesley Clemons removed his protective face mask this morning after realizing that no one…
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Alexandra Houle
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TORONTO — Local well-known-for-having-a-beard guy Will Hoover has finally invested in a hat after being asked to shave for a…
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