JIM THORPE, Penn. — Craigslist user Hampton Bellamy sold a badly damaged and completely non-functional Kustom amplifier yesterday after listing it on the website “as…
WASHINGTON — Jerkhole bassist Alex Miller finally overcame his anxiety yesterday to ask why his bass guitar includes two extra strings, amused bandmates confirmed. “I’ve…
HINSDALE, Ill. — Twitter user Shannon Nichols updated her profile bio today, moving “Trump Supporter” ahead of her other chosen descriptors of “Christian, Mother, Entrepreneur,…
It’s no revelation to say that most of the great comedies of yesteryear couldn’t be made today. The cultural climate is far too over-sensitive now.…
This past week we all watched as executive chef Jeff Tray was eliminated from the hit Food Network show “Chopped” after the dimwit attempted to…
FAYETTEVILLE, Ark. — Local woman and “legitimate fucking moron who acts like she’s better than everyone all of a sudden” Wendy Montoya allegedly enacted some…
TEMPE, Ariz. — Local idiot Eli Burkhardt made a fool of himself today by accidentally cutting off his jeans vertically, leaving the back of his…
TWIN FALLS, Idaho — Local man Jeff Debow mistook today what was sent as a pee emoji for “making this chick I met on Bumble…
DUBLIN — A local moron obviously blind to his own idiocy stood around last night with a brand-new Gildan shirt wadded up in his clammy…
It’s 2018, and society as a whole claims to be more progressive than ever, especially when it comes to sexual identity. But while we’ve made…
KNOXVILLE, Tenn. — Local libertarian Peter Murphy faced off against and won a rousing debate last night against his radical, left-wing activist girlfriend who doesn’t…
ST. PAUL, Minn. – Vocalist Tom Gant is known to lash out against oppression, misogyny, and bigotry while on stage with his band Cold Shot.…
GAINESVILLE, Florida – Unencumbered by any logical thought process, local show promoter Matt Kimball came up with an idea for fixing a double-booked Saturday evening…