NACOGDOCHES, Texas — Local 34-year-old Mark Finn was unsuccessful in his attempts to woo a woman into meeting up no-strings for sexual intercourse by texting…
We’ve all been there: we’re at our local Costco looking for an anonymous thrill and we see a punk starting to walk towards us in…
SAN FRANCISCO — Local man Clay Horton briefly paused fellating a complete stranger at a glory hole in an area gay bar to inquire if…
WILKES-BARRE, Pa. — Local woman Alicia Beacon discovered a major red flag during her first date with Tony Delough in his overwhelmingly vocal distaste for…
CHICAGO — Local man Wesley Farkas is worried that a recent proposal to enter into a lifetime commitment with girlfriend Rebecca Bender sent the wrong…
ATLANTA — The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention announced earlier this week that fully vaccinated people may safely end the lame-ass relationships they were…
WASHINGTON — A new commission on Socializing, Relationships & Dating released a 105-page report determining that a breakup still counts between two romantically involved parties,…
SCOTTSDALE, Ariz. — Local Amazon Prime delivery driver Dave Eisner treated his girlfriend of one year last night to a necklace that’s been stashed in…
The Claim: According to an internet ad my neighborhood is full of horny mature women looking to get wet and wild with ME right now,…
NEW HAVEN, Conn. — A new study suggests that the average punk unknowingly has sex with five people who go by the name “Spider” over…
BOISE, Idaho — The freshly cleaned bedroom of local woman Megan O’Leary is “anxiously excited” to meet O’Leary’s potential sexual partner later this evening, sources…
LOS ANGELES — Described by loved ones as “charismatic,” “fun,” “unpredictable,” and “always the life of the party,” Clark Tomlinson passed away last night at…
The search for love is a challenge that has plagued mankind, and me, for centuries. It seems every person has their own methods for finding…