RICHMOND, Va. — Social media manager Ainsley Farragut, wanting to inform his roommates of a variety of different matters, is “just giving them a heads-up,”…
LONDON – Sir Elton John formally unveiled plans in a press release last night to more fully live out the “Sir” in front of his…
OBERLIN, Ohio — Students in Oberlin College’s Feminist Epidemiology class were unable to focus during Professor Eric Shin’s “Commercialization of Ironic Misandry” lecture due to…
NEW YORK — The U.S. Food and Drug Administration recalled nearly 300 tons of raw denim earlier today after multiple reports from hipsters, fashionistas, and…
BERKELEY, Calif. — Lara Townsend, primary girlfriend of local polyamor Rick Walcott, has reluctantly decided that she, too, will now tote a hierarchy of lovers,…
TAMPA, Fla. — Death-metal band Cannibal Corpse and pop singer Nicki Minaj are working on a surprising collaboration birthed from a mutual appreciation of “ass…
SALT LAKE CITY — Local mother Robin Johnston saved money for three years to take her entire family on a week-long, all-inclusive guilt trip straight…
FREEHOLD, N.J. — High school junior Andy Moran gave his mother a Honey Clementine-scented Yankee Candle earlier today for Mother’s Day, a gift that, unbeknownst…
BOSTON — AggroNap, a noise machine sleep aid for people who grew up in broken homes, is set to hit the market after months of…
ELGIN, Ill. — Arthur McInerney, lead guitarist for the technical death metal band Magmarok, passed away Thursday following complications with Type 2 Diabetes, but not…
MONTCLAIR, N.J. — The newborn baby of local punks Kara and Brian Davis is not living up to the hype and high expectations set forth…
PHILADELPHIA — Residents of the Skam Houze punk squat in West Philadelphia held an intervention late Thursday night for recently-employed roommate Val Torres amid mounting…
MANCHESTER, N.H. — Longtime hardcore enthusiast Chuck Abraham alleged earlier today that, despite being advertised as “all ages,” last night’s show at The Bell Mouth…
GARDEN CITY, N.Y. — Local teenager Sammi Cooper reportedly has no way to play the mixtape gifted to her by pop-punk singer Ryan Hartley, and thus…
SHREVEPORT, La. — Goat Cadaver frontman and lyricist Jake Reid reportedly hit a wall in his songwriting process late last night after struggling to find…