Hardcore Tag Archives - Page 419

Basement Hostages Blissfully Unaware of Pandemic

Ryan Danley • May 2, 2020

SPRINGFIELD, Mo. — 64-year-old captor Charles Lynn Gartner’s basement-dwelling hostages remain blissfully unaware of the global crisis happening right outside…

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Bald Guy Pushing for CDC to Make Hats Mandatory Too

Issa Diao • May 2, 2020

MADISON, Wis. — Local bald man Gene Zielinski is petitioning the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention today, demanding they…

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activism, memes, important, social change

Activist Posts Important Meme

Louie Aronowitz • May 1, 2020

PORTLAND, Ore. — Local activist/influencer/yoga instructor/Instagram model/spiritualist Lana-Ann Fink did her part yesterday to take a stand and inspire change…

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Philadelphian Desperate for Human Interaction Resorts to Chucking D-Size Batteries at Self

Patrick Coyne • May 1, 2020

PHILADELPHIA — Quarantined Bella Vista resident Zack Simmons is so desperate for any interaction with his fellow Philadelphians, he’s resorted…

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Crush Probably Just Watching Livestream from Someone Else’s Instagram Account

Louie Aronowitz • April 30, 2020

GREEN BAY, Wisc. — Local punk and BurntBridge frontman Zach Maron live-streamed an intimate acoustic show on Instagram late last…

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vocals, recording, interrupt, annoying, applause

Neighborhood Applause for Healthcare Workers Ruins Perfect Vocal Take

John Danek • April 30, 2020

BROOKLYN — New Yorkers loudly applauded their appreciation for healthcare workers on the front lines of the COVID-19 epidemic again…

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Child Not Popular at Home School Either

Sari Beliak • April 29, 2020

GILROY, Calif. — 13-year-old Matthew Staller’s social standing has not improved at all since his middle school closed down last…

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sesame street, coronavirus, trump, president

Sesame Street Airs Special Episode to Explain Coronavirus to the President

Jon Wood • April 29, 2020

NEW YORK — The cast of “Sesame Street” joined the country’s leading scientists and health experts this weekend in a…

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biden, joe biden, vice president, mental illness

Joe Biden Announces Endorsement from Sundown Movement

Jeremy Kaplowitz • April 28, 2020

WASHINGTON — Notable Alzheimer's awareness organization Sundown Movement officially endorsed former Vice President and Democratic nominee Joe Biden this morning,…

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Aging Punk’s New Model Building Hobby Mostly Just Excuse to Keep Sniffing Glue

James Knapp • April 28, 2020

TRENTON, N.J. — 31-year-old punk William “Billy Club” Moore’s new model-building hobby is primarily just a socially acceptable means for…

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