INDIO, Calif. –– Swarms of honeybees began their annual trek to the Coachella music festival early Friday morning to pollinate thousands of flower crowns worn…
PHILADELPHIA – A protest sign originally used at the Women’s March to the Polls last weekend has been successfully repurposed for the first all-female Royal…
DENVER — Local all-around garbage human Russ Mitchell was totally grossed out by a female musician’s armpit hair during a show on Tuesday night, according…
PHOENIX — Netflix has ordered three separate hour-long, stand-up comedy specials from local dad Bob Cecil after his hilarious comedy performance during a family dinner…
CHICAGO –– The guttural moans and profanity-laden shrieks emanating from the birthing tub of Kia Armetto “really added a certain something” to a DIY basement…
WASHINGTON –– The GOP-led House of Representatives voted on Thursday 217-213 in favor of terminating 24 million pre-existing humans from Earth. “They had a good…
LOS ANGELES — With Congress expected to gut the Affordable Care Act, local school teacher Sofiya Anderson realized late last night she will soon be…
WASHINGTON — President Donald Trump honored disgraced civil rights activist Rachel Dolezal in a speech celebrating Black History Month earlier today, recognizing her vast contributions…
Everyone at Hard Style was stoked when our boss told us we could bring our pets into the office last year. Who wouldn’t love being…
WASHINGTON — The Department of Transportation issued a statement today warning those traveling within the D.C. area to expect delays and account for an unprecedented…
LOS ANGELES — Morrissey begrudgingly signed for another shipment of Emergen-C early this morning from fans desperately trying to keep the aging performer in good…
BISBEE, Ariz. — Courtney Howard’s otherwise unshakeable Positive Mental Attitude has been temporarily postponed due to crushing PMS, Howard quietly reported from her blanket cocoon…
TUCSON, Ariz. — Local woman Sarah Abott reportedly had a personal “modern day Hanukkah miracle” this past week when, despite only having enough battery to…
Jobless, heartbroken, living on my mom’s couch. I needed a way to discreetly alert my friends that I was being consumed by the nagging disappointment…