TUCSON, Ariz. — Local man Edgar Ruiz admitted today that he would have done things much differently if he knew that the most recent time…
SANTA CRUZ, Calif. –– Tarot reader Hannah Edwards was unsure how to tell fellow party-goer Randy Bartolo that he would reach his untimely death because…
AUSTIN, Texas — The first aid administered Sunday by a volunteer medic is the closest thing protester Sammi Ramirez has experienced to health care in…

Friend Celebrating Birthday at Home in Quarantine Still Manages to Start Drunken Fight and Lose Shoe
MONTCLAIR, N.J. — Local woman Frankie Landis exceeded all her previous birthday expectations by somehow still managing to start a drunken fight and lose her…

Local Venue That Kicked You Out for Fighting, Lighting Fires Has a Lot of Nerve Asking for Donations
FLAGSTAFF, Ariz. –– Management at local venue The Corner Spot, who kicked you out for starting fights and lighting a trash can on fire last…
BAKERSFIELD, Calif. — Local dad Craig Harper admitted today that the lockdown set in place to stop the spread of COVID-19 was really fucking up…
GILROY, Calif. — 13-year-old Matthew Staller’s social standing has not improved at all since his middle school closed down last month, the seventh-grader quietly reported…
TUCSON, Ariz. — Local woman and your mom audibly wondered what ever happened to that nice boy you used to fuck, the question coming seemingly…
ATLANTA — Local woman Anna Valentina shared Monday that the most redeeming aspect of being polyamorous is having the freedom to stay open to a…
SAN FRANCISCO — Tech startup Ampt Ventures announced on Tuesday that, in an effort to cultivate a fun, company culture, their Bay Area office now…
BOSTON — Local psychiatrist Dr. Martina Mevorak counseled her patient Adam Mallory this morning, letting him know that it could take up to six full…
PHILADELPHIA — Guitar Center employee Henry Stiltz dragged another day’s worth of unsold gear to the dumpster at the end of his shift Tuesday, according…