Just Shit My Pants. Please Send Cute Animal Pics
Oh boy. I just shit my pants. Yup. On an evening walk across the Del Taco parking lot, I shit…
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Justin Cox
9 stories found
Amazon Declares Moral Bankruptcy
SEATTLE — Online retailer Amazon officially declared moral bankruptcy today thanks to their ongoing, unethical treatment of employees amid the…
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Band’s Second Guitarist Getting Worried About All This ‘Non-Essential’ Talk
VACAVILLE, Calif. — Local rhythm guitarist Glenn Wemple is increasingly worried about all this “non-essential” talk amid the coronavirus pandemic…
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Band Apologizes for Long Silence on Social Media That Nobody Noticed
DAVIS, Calif. — Indie-funk-fusion band Bougie Juice broke their social media silence yesterday with an apologetic post after five weeks…
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Shrek Reveals He Was High on LSD The Night He Wrote ‘Hallelujah’
Acclaimed ogre and Hollywood superstar Shrek is best known for the proliferation of nude photos containing his likeness on the…
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Opinion: Pinkerton Was the Second Weezer Record of All Time
The album Pinkerton is, without a shred of a doubt, the second Weezer record of all time. It lacks some…
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Newborn Baby Already Out of iCloud Storage Space
SKOKIE, Ill. — Local parents Laura and Sam Conner learned yesterday that their first child, born just this past Sunday,…
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Neil deGrasse Tyson: ‘Science Says It Would Actually Take Approximately 25,920,000 Seconds to Get to Mars’
NEW YORK — Renowned astrophysicist Neil deGrasse Tyson publicly challenged the science behind the name of rock band 30 Seconds…
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Audiophile Mom Not a Fan of Son’s Tone
SACRAMENTO, Calif. — Local mother and hi-fi aficionado Peggy Lowell had a multitude of criticisms regarding her son’s tone following…
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