Some people are able to drink in moderation. I’ve been told, on many occasions, that I am certainly not one of those people. So much…
SANTA CRUZ, Calif. — 26-year-old data scientist Ricky LeBlanc reportedly impressed party guests last night by opening their beers with the butt end of his…
FAIRBANKS, Alaska — Obvious alcoholic and general mess of a human being Jerrold Long announced today that he will spend the entire evening, and the…
So here I am at yet another gathering of my closest friends and family. It seems like we gather almost every month to talk about,…
A study out of Park High School in central Indiana shows that 9 out of 10 teens splitting a case of Coors stolen from Greg’s…
PITTSBURGH — Local woman and functional alcoholic Misty Peterson is reportedly in good spirits today, after a week-long hangover stemming from last Saturday night resolved…
Oh ho ho, would you look at this shit. Looks like somebody got a beer belly over the years. Somebody who used to judge me…
Oh neat! A series of new studies have been emerging showing that behaviors once considered dangerous are actually positive qualities. Things like eating bacon, being…
SAN JOSE, Calif. — Roommates at punk/party house the Snake Pit are reportedly growing alarmed by the complete lack of water intake by fellow resident…
SAN JOSE, Calif. — Local drummer Murphy Hartly models his intense drum sound and out-of-control drinking problem after his idol, the deceased Led Zeppelin drummer…
This one goes out to my REAL problem drinkers. Saturday is St. Patrick’s Day, which is basically Comic-Con for Poser Alcoholics, and that means all…
I am fall-down drunk right now. For real. I have literally fallen down and I am presently lying on the floor of this bar. But…
All day long I hear people complaining about how bad alcohol is. How it destroys families and makes you shit your pants at your girlfriend’s…
HUNTINGTON BEACH, Calif. — The Offspring frontman Dexter Holland has a new food-related venture: Vino Anciano, a wine that will become increasingly stagnant over time,…
NEW YORK — Local man Adam Lefler is increasingly nervous to check his 194 notifications on Facebook this morning after waking up extremely hungover, the…