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9 out of 10 Teens Drinking on Football Field Report This Is the Greatest Night of Their Lives

A study out of Park High School in central Indiana shows that 9 out of 10 teens splitting a case of Coors stolen from Greg’s old man on the 50 yard-line of the of their soon to be almamater’s football field claim that this is the greatest night of their life.

The study is a sample of ten suburban graduating seniors all heading off to college in the fall. All of whom are certain that they don’t know what the future has in store and that everything is changing.

The lone 10% holdout of the study, one Justin Raymond, reports that while drinking on the hood of a 1972 Ford Bronco is one of the greatest nights of his life, he believes he is meant for bigger and better things and will get out of this town one day.

While many analysts in the field believed that prom or even Tommy “Boom Boom” Brennan’s house party would have been identified as the greatest night of their life, researchers were stunned to discover that tossing a football around under the stars with a group of friends that may never be together again after tonight won out.

Additionally, the study participants came to a consensus that the song Last Shot by country singer Kip Moore is their official anthem and, no matter where they are, if they hear that song they will do a shot in memory of that night.

In a similar longitudinal study with the graduating class of 1998, the now almost 40-year-olds report that not only was that still the greatest night of their life but that they wished they could have frozen time and let that night last forever.

The study went onto explain that the average wait time for one group of friends to finish reminiscing on the football field before another can take its place is approximately 1.3 hours. Researchers suggest using the town reservoir as a suitable substitute.

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