LOS ANGELES — A years-long study by scientists at UCLA has proved once and for all that drinking eight glasses of water a day is…
LOS ANGELES — 40-year-old IT worker Shane Bryce realized yesterday that he can’t imagine a time in his life where reading an entire book would…
I’m not against people making a living wage in this country, but to make it $15 an hour for a menial job is downright un-American!…
LOS ANGELES — The upcoming fourth installment of the popular “Matrix” movies is expected to shatter records for dumb, pseduo-philisophical discussions in dorm rooms across…
DUBLIN, Calif. — After being released following a two month stint for illegally securing the college admission of her daughters to Southern California University, sources…
TRENTON, N.J. — Local man Todd Branford was very surprised yesterday by the extremist beliefs of his former college friend Madison Carlyle, last known to…
Career planning is increasingly becoming a priority for young Americans. In an era of bad housing and job markets, a bachelor’s degree isn’t as alluring…
EAST LANSING, Mich. — Diddy Kong is the latest celebrity to stand accused of using his celebrity status to bypass the rigors of higher education,…
BOSTON — Researchers at Berklee College of Music confirmed today that the opening riff of local punk band Milkmouth’s song “Squirrel Scream” should really have…
NEWARK, Del. — Tom Connor graduated today from the University of Delaware with his 140th and final bachelor degree, having taken every class in the…
CARSON CITY, Nev. — Your good friend Tony Suarez will make his radio debut tonight with his punk band The Republicants during your prime sleeping…
SILVER CITY, N.M. — Former Columbia University law student Brendan Stack recently transferred to Western New Mexico University, fleeing the embarrassment of having accidentally called…
OAKLAND, Calif. — A loose nail on the stage at a campaign stop earlier this week led to the revelation that Presidential candidate Bernie Sanders…
DENVER — Local high schooler Jake Fritzler astounded his teachers today by scoring 1050 on the SAT despite entering nothing but the sequence “ACAB” on…
TEMPE, Ariz. — Local man Connor Heath still regrets breaking up with his college girlfriend 20 years on, admitting today that he never got over…