CHARLOTTE, N.C. — Metalhead Tyler Cobb was the only patron to behave with respect and civility at airport bar Buster’s, while sporting a Cattle Decapitation…
Newly Single Man Brings CPAP Machine to Bar Just In Case
PHILADELPHIA — Newly single man Tim Donahue brought his CPAP machine to a bar yesterday evening in the event he might hook up upon returning…
Help: I Was Just a Big Guy Wearing a Black Shirt Standing in Front of the Entrance and Now I’m the Bouncer
There I was, just waiting for a friend outside Dom’s Pub when a bunch of random people started shoving their IDs into my face. I…
Punk’s Only Form of ID Just Last Name Tattooed Across Stomach
ASBURY PARK, N.J. — Scene legend known only as “Kowalski” has informed multiple local bars and government entities that the only form of ID he…
We Swapped All the Malört at This Bar With Piss-Flavored Gasoline and No One Said Anything
Have you ever wanted to drink licorice-flavored varnish? Or perhaps floor cleaner garnished with dirt and earthworms? If so, you’re in luck, you little weirdo,…
MYRTLE BEACH, S.C. — Hard Rock Cafe Manager Kyle Neeson offered the chance to hold the INXS guitar hanging in the women’s bathroom to departing…
HONOLULU — Local punk Joseph Green is looking forward to finally hanging out with friends in the alley during shows again now that the city…
Lead Singer Pretty Sure There Are Still Some COVID Restrictions Stopping Him From Helping With Load In
LOS ANGELES — Vocalist Trevor Handler of Reseda pop punk band Half-Hazzard insisted that his reluctance to help the band move gear in and out…
Straight Man Weirdly Jealous of Lesbian
NEW HOPE, Pa. — Local straight man Scott Stevenson was spotted acting weirdly jealous around lesbian woman and acquaintance at best, Samantha Rux, at a…
Alright, now I’m starting to get skeptical. I went in here to take a piss during this Battle of the Bands and, while the facilities…
Jackpot: Friend With Car Going Sober
PHILADELPHIA – Local friend and owner of a comfortable and reliable five-seat sedan, Victor Schnellenberger, is planning to quit drinking alcohol and begin a long…
We Visit This Legendary Punk Bar Because Our Credit Card Was Stolen and That’s Where All the Charges Were From
Black Flag, Bad Brains, Fugazi, and just about every other legendary punk band has played this DC bar since its opening in 1980. Not to…
Hardcore Guy’s and Metal Guy’s Eyes Meet as They Both Yell “Go!” While At The Gates Plays
BALTIMORE — Hardcore music aficionado Steve Settler and metalhead Jasyn Moore shared a tender moment when they simultaneously yelled “Go!” while listening to “Slaughter of…
Drunk Scallop at Bar Talking About Time Gordon Ramsay Threw It on Countertop in Season Three, Episode Six of “Hell’s Kitchen” Again
DOVER, Del. — A local townie and currently wasted-off-his-ass scallop is rambling on about the time his rubbery body was hurled across the room by…
Awkward Man Never Sure What to Do With His Hands During Sex
CAPITOLA, Calif. –– Awkward man Bryan Erdman revealed Monday that he is never quite sure what to do with his hands during sex, and always…