GENEVA — A recent report from leading vegan scientists indicates the limited supply of dairy milk alternative Oatly could lead to increased international tension, eventually…
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MONTREAL — Manufacturers of online AI-driven mastering software LANDR announced a new feature today that politely declines a band’s inevitable invitation to the release party…
SANTA CRUZ, Calif. — 26-year-old data scientist Ricky LeBlanc reportedly impressed party guests last night by opening their beers with the butt end of his…
TUCSON, Ariz. — A hacker has broken Super Smash Bros. Ultimate open and apparently revealed a host of new details about the game. The most…
CHICAGO — A panel of experts practicing social distancing across the country are reeling today, following the discovery that it is somehow already 4:05 p.m.…
LOS ANGELES — Local punk Noah Slafer scoured the internet last night to find out whether he should view Julian Assange as a right-wing puppet…
CHERRY HILL, N.J. — 30-year-old gamer Anna Gaskins reportedly entered a fake birthday into Steam’s age verification system, despite actually being old enough to pass…
COSTA MESA, Calif. — Slightly tipsy local mom Candace Webber keeps dropping not-so-subtle hints that she fucked The Offspring singer Dexter Holland in the ‘90s,…
MANKATO, Minn. — Speedwolf drummer Levi Daniels abandoned his Tama Swingstar kit and assorted hardware yesterday to a “pants-shittingly” large spider spotted on the snare…
OKLAHOMA CITY — Local bathroom occupant Dan Corrigan has reportedly been plagued by incessant social media ads for Anthem, EA’s failed 2019 shooter, ever since…
WASHINGTON — President Trump’s approval rating has failed to crack the 40% mark among the last remaining American who managed to survive the pandemic and…
NEW YORK — Following a string of leaks of early builds and scrapped ideas for beloved Nintendo games, the emulation and modding community has been…
Spongebob Squarepants.The bubble-blowing, fun-loving, flamboyant sea sponge has been entertaining young children and stoned adults for over 20 years. But while Spongebob is fictional, a…
I was once like you, barely able to pay for essentials like Tinder Plus while still having enough money leftover for avocados and bubble tea.…
Holy shit am I the next Kirk Hammett? No, I can’t shred on the guitar and my hair is less “rock God” and more “birds…
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