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Local Punk Still Needs Clarification on Whether Julian Assange Is Good Guy or Bad Guy

LOS ANGELES — Local punk Noah Slafer scoured the internet last night to find out whether he should view Julian Assange as a right-wing puppet or a hero of free speech following Assange’s arrest in London yesterday, Slafer household internet records confirmed.

“I mean, I guess he basically helped get Trump elected… but also, he revealed some really shady stuff the military was up to? Is that right?” said Slafer, entering his seventh hour of gathering data. “I don’t want to applaud the police for finally arresting the guy… but I’m also not sure if I want him around for another election cycle, either.”

Conservative experts admitted they are equally confused by Assange.

“Well, I can’t say I love his ties to Ecuador — or his ties to Sweden, for that matter. Both of those countries rub me the wrong way,” said right wing pundit Tad Dungle. “But boy, did he stick it to Hilary. Man, what a hoot that was!”

“I guess no matter what happens, I can’t really hate the guy too much,” Dungle eventually concluded.

At press time, Slafer was overheard talking with his parents, and experts speculate Slafer will take the opposite stance of whatever his father thinks.

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