NEW YORK — A much-needed last-minute practice for the Trans-Siberian Orchestra was delayed yet again by fucking Dale Andrews, who was late to rehearsal for the…
Jobless, heartbroken, living on my mom’s couch. I needed a way to discreetly alert my friends that I was being consumed by the nagging disappointment…
v EGAS — The anarchist bowling team known as the Eight Pin Workdays failed yet again to properly organize a single strike during a not-so-friendly…
Always wanted to rock a DIY look but not at all interested in actually doing anything yourself? Well, you’re in luck, because creating a DIY…
COLORADO SPRINGS, Colo. — Recent iOS convert and devout iPhone user Dale Bowman has begun to pray five times per day toward the Apple, Inc.…
NEW YORK – An ancient genie, sworn to grant three wishes to whomever releases him from his magic lamp, was taken aback by his current…
MOS EISLEY, Tatooine — Brutal, untamed pits are held as a hallmark of any worthwhile scene. But according to one part-time bartender of a local…
TORONTO — The resident sound guy of Queen Street Hall is at the center of a tense hostage situation, according to authorities gathered outside the…
Experts agree: If The Hard Times is proficient at one thing it’s Biblical scholarship. But, as you know, there is an abundance of misinformation floating…
DETROIT — Local goth teen Shelly Davis announced plans to ruin her family’s Christmas card for the third year in a row, according to a…
THE PAS, Manitoba – The 12 men known to make up a small town hardcore scene located in rural, midwestern Canada also serve as a…
As electronic cigarettes have risen in popularity, so too has the culture of vaping. Vaping has blossomed into yet another subculture that we must be…
ITHACA, N.Y. — In what roommates have lauded as a truly historic accomplishment in gender relations, not a single resident of the punk house/DIY collective…
CHAPEL HILL, N.C. — Fans and critics alike say stoner metal band Wand Luthier has redefined the genre with their debut album, The Blazed Among…
PHILADELPHIA — Founding members of Pennsylvania hardcore band The Truth Between announced a reunion earlier today for a short run of weekend dates, playing their…