Just as you’ve done so many mornings before, you roll into the nearest Starbucks for your ritual skinny white chocolate macchiato (extra shot). But today…
AUSTIN, Texas – Local man Justin Duffy ordered over $900 worth of records so far this year from an online distro despite claims to his…
NEW HAVEN, Conn. – Researchers at Yale University found that the average hardcore frontman will be betrayed 612 times before the age of 18, according…
I’m sorry, you don’t like Metallica? I don’t think I understand that statement. You just never got into them? What does that even mean? Have…
CORONA, Calif. — Fender Guitars will now include a prewritten Craigslist “for sale” ad inside every new Squier Stratocaster starter pack to help consumers re-sell…
There was once a time in this country when things were comfortable. An average American could go out for a nice dinner with the family…
KNOXVILLE, Tenn. — Startup company BoxBox debuted their signature product today — a subscription box delivered monthly to customers’ homes, filled entirely with other subscription…
THIS. HAS. TO. STOP. Everyone in this bar knows the jukebox costs $1 per song or $3 for 4 songs. This isn’t a charity. I’m…
NEW YORK — Friends and family of local musician Ezra Phelix gathered last night at the Beauty Bar to intervene in his new solo endeavor,…
DECATUR, Ga. — Beth and William Conden were surprised to discover last week that the touring punk band they are hosting lives only a few…
ELLICOTT CITY, Md. — Local poser Jonathan Pittman committed the ultimate social faux pas last night, showing up to a date wearing a shirt printed…
PHOENIX — Local hero and vinyl enthusiast Nate Adams broke a car window in last week’s triple-digit temperatures in order to save some records overheating…
TAMPA, Fla. — Local man Garrett Doyle has somehow managed to build a real-life personality even more insufferable than the one he portrays online, according…
The last sun beams of fall dance a somber waltz through the leaf-bare trees as I scribe this communiqué to you – my dear readers…
BROOKLYN — Post-punk band T.F.U. has listed the empty space in front of the stage for rent on Craigslist as a summer sublet, following several…